Vanity or Flair

For vanity’s sake, she doesn’t mind if she is a hefty spring roll. She wears those dresses so tight like there is no air left inside her body. She (dis)graces the pathway like those pompous grimy cats adorned with blisters and grease. She feels like everybody cherishes how she looks.

While another ‘she’ paces like a bathing swan in a lake full of grace and unmindful of how she looks. She has this flair she carries with her as noticeable as the sun sets its elegant rays across the earth. She is truly a wonderful but simple masterpiece of nature.

How would you choose to be one? Should you be a vain woman or an elegant female? It is hard work though. Both choices are. To be vain is to be a woman ‘working’ to be pleasing to the other’s eyes. To be elegant is to be a woman of discipline.

Vanity is not exclusive for women, or flair, too. Men as big as stocky rocks also work their way out to obtain what they think are desirable for others especially for women. But there are also men who wanted to just carry the flair like handy wallets, bags and portfolios.

Vanity or flair – choose!

fiftywords

Rejection? The Pleasure is Mine

More often we feel bitter if we are rejected directly or indirectly. It seems that we are lacking so people do not appreciate us or accept us. For me, when rejected, the pleasure is mine. Come to think of it, not my loss, but theirs. And it is not pride.

Before, the impact of rejection really eats me up. It makes me gloomy, makes me unimportant, and makes me unwanted. It was just like I am deficient. It was like I am lesser than anybody and do not have anything better to prove about myself.

The years have molded me to a better person. I have learned to appreciate the fact that not everybody can appreciate me. It is true I cannot please everybody. It was a graceful acceptance of reality. And I welcomed rejection with a smile and even with a smirk.

People have reasons. I have my own reasons. I also reject people I do not like, directly and indirectly. We are all entitled to our own opinions. So why will we brood when rejected? Face it and say – “The pleasure is mine.”

The Fertility of the Mind is More than Enough?

The post of a fellow blogger reminded me of a discussion one time after a conduct of an internal quality audit to a section of the Technical Services Department. The discussion started from the question I directed to a group of 3 auditors and 2 auditees – why do men seek pleasure outside marriage? The men, with only me as a woman, blurted out reasons. Some claimed that they were not the ones who seek, they were the ones sought. One of the fellows admittedly explained that eating the same kind of food makes the palate numb. Imagine comparing their partners to some kind of food! But needless to say, most men are really born promiscuous.

The discussion lead to my mentioning of an email sent to me with a guy cutting off his penis. The succession of the images runs as follows:

1. the man holding his penis
2. the penis being tied by 2 rubber bands (wider than the usual rubber band that I know)
3. the man cutting the penis with a cutter while holding a something like a suction holding the glans (which is the head of the penis)
4. the man pulling the glans from the whole body of the penis (2 pics)
5. the glans cut off from the entire body of the penis (2 pics)

I was not certain if the images did not come from a real act of cutting the penis nor that it was just another set of images to give the receivers something to loathe about. What I was trying to find out from the guys if that would cause impotence. You know, with the glans out, which is the one of the most sensitive part of the male organ, (one of which is the corona), how could the genital reach erection?

The simple question lead to some doubtful answers and one of which was "The fertility of the mind is more than enough." The guy who uttered this insisted that the penis would still erect even without the glans. He explained that imagination or what goes on inside the mind of a man leads the organ to tumescence. I doubted that explanation but had no means to prove otherwise. No possibility of a volunteer to have his ‘precious one’ be cut off. LOL.

Until recently, I read that with causes of impotence like psychological problems and side effects of drugs come the greatest number of cases. But this is just secondary impotence. It was mentioned that primary impotence is caused when the genitals are anatomically faulty. This means that the guy who cut off his penis will probably be impotent after doing it. The anatomical structure of the genital is definitely important. This is why I was doubtful when that guy stated that ‘the fertility of the mind is more than enough." If the mind is fertile and the vehicle to which its messages will be transported is dysfunctional, how could the upshot be possible?

JS PROM, Manila Hotel, February 18, 2005

http://yos-vibe.blogspot.com/
It cost me P500 pesos for her hair and make-up for the Junior-Senior Promenade. My hubby remarked that I handed over the service fee without hesitation. I told him it was cheaper than the other service fee from renowned parlors. The result was satisfactory and it gave my daughter a look older than her age.

She is a pretty lady. Her long slender body graced the lobby of the Manila Hotel. There are a lot of pretty girls in that event, too. But for me, Kay is one of the prettiest. Well… parents are always fan-atics of their own siblings. Who would disagree with me anyway? That day, my daughter really shone and people (and boys) stared and admired her. What a nice feeling to be a proud parent!

My daughter is truly a wow. She is a strong-willed (or stubborn? ha ha ha) little lady, very independent and a leader. I was asking myself: Is this really true? That my daughter is growing up and soon to leave us? (Oh, I hope not too soon…) She is only 15.

She had fun the whole of the event, danced with friends a lot and enjoyed the camaraderie of her peers. Though there are disgusting people in that event according to her, she managed to obtain the best. We fetched her at past 11:00 pm. The event was not off till 12:00 pm so we had to wait. We were able to leave past 12:00 midnight then went home. Kay rested at the backseat so tired and sleepy… and still a beautiful baby – to my eyes.

That Was the Past, Here is the Future

A girl, about 12 or 13, struggles to mingle with her teenage classmates in a public school in Quezon City. She is lost and lonely so to say. Possessing only an intelligent mind, she is trying to be accepted. The girls in the class are not interested at all of the intellect. She is nobody still being a dweller in the slum areas of that city.

The girl’s blue skirt uniform felt of starch after being bleached. The hair is simply done, no braids, not shampooed so that they form into clusters of strands of hair but combed. The whole poise, if it can be labeled as poise, set out of a long neck, very thin arms and legs, melancholic eyes and lips, dry and pale lips, and a not so very good smell. She tries to be neat, and she believes she is neat, actually not mindful of the indifference and the stabbing stares or the hidden pouts.

The girl is aware that everybody in the school stares, not because of attraction, of regard, or of appreciation. But she needs to survive. She excels in the class almost equivalent to the rank one or maybe even brilliant than the rank one in the class. Discrimination is there. Tuition fee and extra other fees payment delays are known. She does not care. She needs to survive. She is surviving and obtaining happiness from the frequent successes she makes in the competitions and the ranking in the academics.

Two decades and more, a girl of about the same age made her way to popularity in a private school in another city. Acclaimed by the students and teachers, she is always on the go. She seems to be very happy. She is not trying hard to be known. She is known almost by everybody in school. Everybody is interested to be her friend. Every body seems to want to ride in her bandwagon. She belongs to a good family, which is living just a mediocre life. She is not deprived and is always supported towards her dreams.

The girl’s white uniform gives her radiance very nice to behold. She smells very sweet, very fresh. She stands taller, looks prettier, moves smarter and talks more confident. She is a knockout so to say.

The girl appreciates the attention being given to her and accepts the fact that a lot is depending on her in any school project or activity. It is a difficult task for her but she needs to survive. She still belongs to the top of her class. There are a lot of responsibilities to attend to. She is busier than before. She is spent but happy. She is an achiever.

Dreams come true, do they?

The past holds no bearing in the future. It cannot stop any one from dreaming. We make out our lives to have a good conclusion. The primitive or the obsolete patches of life are there to support not to influence. They contribute to the strength and the beauty of our present horizon.

The Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me

Realization… that is the best thing that ever happened to me. Who would treat me like a queen – wake up in the early morning to tend to the needs of my kids and let me sleep till it is time to get up for work; prepare tasty food for dinner so that when I come home feast on it and feed my hunger; bring me almost everyday to work without complaining though still sleepy; keep silent when I become a raging bull when irked by small things; and most of all, let me savor the wonderful love in his own little ways?

He may not be an Adonis, with a lean body, good-featured nose and lips… He may not be the exquisitely intelligent exec… He may not be the accomplished virtuoso… He may not be that egocentric gorgeous chap…

But he happens to be my other half, my well-being, my life…

In his special ways when almost everything is impossible because of poor health, he thrives… and makes me feel that everyday is worth living… though loads of disquiet tramples the peace…

TORY

‘Tis a nice feeling being a source of inspiration for somebody who seems to be resolute like Tory. He is right he made an impact to my being, made me feel I am an important person though I am not sure really of the sincerity. But what is viable about the situation is the strong effect he has on me. Only a few people that I meet treat other beings with respect like he did. He is a nice person to ‘type with’ (ha, ha, ha and the only one who describe it as that!)

But… true… he is so self-focused. It was not difficult to notice but I understood. He is such an intelligent individual (can you imagine me saying that?!? ha ha ha) and a loving father. Perhaps that is what we have in common – we are both loving parents!

This is a part of an offline message from him I feel grateful for:

Thank you Bing you are a unique and grounded person... with a enviable sense of who you are..what and why you are here..on this earth..and you've provided me (see it always comes back to ME!) with a sense of inspiration, a gleam of hope, for what I see....a truly whole person could be.

tory 

tory 

110830102747664860

tory

ONCE IN A LIFETIME

Once in a lifetime, we commit errors that are perceivable and yet, we go on clinging to those. We try to put in our minds that doing such wrong things are permissible and tolerable one way or the other. We justify ourselves doing an iniquity and consider it good as long as it is kept hidden. But nothing is kept hidden in the eyes of our Lord. No matter how good and desirable a sin seem to be, it is still an abomination.

We really cannot afford to think that sin, iniquity, or transgression brings any true delight. We find in the end that we are losers for allowing ourselves to lie in the depth of sin or be submerged in its abominable depth. We get amused of sin’s effect for they swerve our lives into something that seem to be awesome and then turns to be resentful… and we wish that we could have not allowed ourselves allured by sin’s deceptive beauty.

110827441278778305

Bernie

I met with my cousin Bernie today... He gave me a lunch treat. I am very glad to see him again. We met only once way back 1984. I have never forgotten this cousin of mine. He made me feel what "relative" meant. He is so down-to-earth before and until now. A very prudent person he is... and I am proud to be his cousin!

He is a lawyer and already married. He is very proud having a baby boy... I wish the best for him. A source of inspiration indeed... a true picture of a man who struggled inspite of the impossibilities...

it's me again! 

it's me again! 

110778264029603567

it's me again!

Why Does Breast Size Matter?

Notions on Femininity and "B" Issues

(an article written by Kay for the school paper "Pharos")

Breast size: a term girls hear from saleswomen when their moms buy their first bras. They could either be as small as 28A or as big as 34B. With a tape measure, moms, aunts or even grandmas wrap it around the girls' bust lines and get the measurements in inches. Girls start to hear terms like: "Uuy... dalaga na siya!" or the popular line from a song "You're no longer a girl but not yet a woman!"

Every girl in her adolescence experiences physical changes. Some of these transformations are the growth of pubic hairs, broader hips and breasts. All girls grow more mature and more conscious on how they look, how they smell, and what other people's opinions are on them. Each girl becomes more aware of what other people think, especially what the guy she has a crush on thinks.

Now, let's move on to what the title says, I know some girls with big breasts, and I could say that guys totally adore them. In a recent review in a teen magazine, a guy, about 16, said that men like big breasts because they like a woman with more curvature and because it makes them womanly. If that's true, then that's why other girls wish for a bigger pair of what we usually call "ang hinaharap". A study showed that a teenage girl's breasts grown until she turns 18. Well, in the US, some girls stuff their bras with either cotton or tissue to make them look bigger. It's quite absurd to try things like that. It's not for decent teenage girls to do that. If girls would only do that because of the desire to be adored by a lot of guys to fit in, then it's wrong. Remember, a good guy will like you for who you are. It's good to think that a guy loves you because you are who you should be.

Some girls, on the contrary, don't care what lads think of them. They stay hard-core and refrain from doing such desperate measures. It's actually decency. And it is easier to like a girl who is herself and not trying to be someone else.

Various actresses, usually sexy stars, undergo bust enlargement surgeries for their careers - an obsession for perfection with the help of science. But there are loads of disadvantages being a "retokada". Janice Jurado, a veteran actress, now suffers from breast cancer because of this sort of surgery. She advises many not to try that type of "beautification". Ethel Booba, host of the reality series "Extra Challenge", is one of the many retokadas in showbiz. She once said that she may look beautiful and sexy but it causes her low self-esteem. She maybe, to us, the positive and funny host we all love but her self-confidence is low, according to her.

Natural beauties are a lot more appreciated. Rufa Mae Quinto, actress and comedienne, is known as the original "Booba". With her natural self, she emerges confident.

Perfection is not all that. Remember, God made us all in the likeness of his image and it is better for us to leave it that way. We were not made perfect. It's okay to make yourself beautiful enough for everybody to appreciate. But it is definitely a no-no to overdo it! Always remember this overused saying. "BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER." Try more to be yourself and be proud of who you are!

it's me! 

it's me! 

110753000948035665

it's me!

THE MEASURE

My husband, who is unemployed due to illness, one day told me that “what a waste that he did not have the chance to do something to be successful”. He verbalized it with melancholy that was not obvious because he is always a person of gaiety. I answered that it all depends on a person what success means, it is on one’s state of mind. And I meant what I said.

Generally, people associate success with the sum of money a person has, with the number of influences he has, with the plenitude of properties and with the band of friends in his circle. I begged to disagree. Success is success even without those enumeration. The definition of success as a “favorable outcome” appeals more to me than the second definition as “ gaining of fame, wealth, etc.” It is favorable outcome to me if I have succeeded to overcome my insecurities, if I have triumphed over the challenges of womanhood (or manhood), if I have won souls to God with my deeds and character, if I have molded the young to responsibility, and the like.

A lot of my friends and acquaintances, including my husband, believe otherwise. Success is money, fame and influence, they gathered. And I am a fool for them to believe on the contrary. But I can not blame them, it is their culture and one should not demean them for their beliefs. I was once like them at some points in my life especially when in misery.

The misery that I have sustained, like Marius Pontmercy (in Les Miserables), had ‘developed me in a wretched fashion but sufficient for existence.’ That is success for me. I agree that people can do great deeds in the small struggles of life (still a success for me).

My husband still believes, I perceived, that the measure of success is having a lot of the tangible things in life. I am not aware if how I responded the other day has taken an effect on his person. Maybe, or maybe not, he thinks I am pretending to be virtuous... what gain do I have for being hypocrite, anyway?

An Interview with the Vamp... he he he

(an interview when I was 37 years old then)

October 17, 2002

1.  What norms or values do you emphasize to your children?

I am a mother of two, a 12-year-old girl and a 10-year-old boy. The two have different traits so the values induced to them also differ. But basically, I always emphasize the value of education. I tell them that we are not rich and so we work and persevere. The best way to be rich (not only in money) morally, emotionally and spiritually is to acquire the best of education. I also tell them that you can not get educated in the school only but also in dealing with other people, in going to places and in reading books. In addition, they are always told that there is a time for everything - a time to study, a time to play, etc.

My 12-year old is very independent for her age and because she has that character, she has the tendency to assume that she knows almost everything already. With her, I always explain the value of humility, respect to others’ opinions and kindness.

My 10-year old son differs very much from his “ate”. He is mutable, that is, can easily be swayed in his opinions and beliefs. Although he is still young and he can change, I believed that emphasizing the value of integrity and will can help him be a stronger person.

2.  What mode of punishments do you use?

When my kids are younger, I let them feel that what they do is wrong by giving them a “little spank”. I had oftentimes scolded them. Though it hurts me sometimes, I tried to maintain the parent position. They have to realize my authority and role as their mother.

At present, the spanking and the scolding are minimal. My 12-year-old daughter does not receive any spanking anymore but a lot of diplomatic discussions and counsels.

3. What traits do you want your children to acquire?

If I can do it my way, I wanted them to possess the best of everything including fine traits. But there are a lot of factors and influences that can change their values.

I really wanted them to be independent, courageous, humane and God-fearing. After all, these are the weapons we need to survive the hostilities of the world.

4. What do you think will be the effect of your child rearing practices to your children?

I believe that every parent wanted to see themselves in their kids. That is why the values I impart, the punishments I give and the molding I apply is expected to bear fruit. My kids will grow to be responsible persons because they know what is right and what is wrong. They will be individuals with wisdom and knowledge that can be used in the trying times of their lives. My frequent communication with them be it out of love or out of the necessity to correct, will guide them and teach them to be effective also in any endeavor they will choose.

5. Describe the socialization practice of each child.

Czarina Kay, 12 years old - likes to mingle a lot; never afraid to voice her opinions, socializes with varied individuals.

Daryl Jules, 10 years old - has only a few friends but goes along well with anybody and is not shy to talk even to a stranger; prefers books than sports activities.