My husband, who is unemployed due to illness, one day told me that “what a waste that he did not have the chance to do something to be successful”. He verbalized it with melancholy that was not obvious because he is always a person of gaiety. I answered that it all depends on a person what success means, it is on one’s state of mind. And I meant what I said.
Generally, people associate success with the sum of money a person has, with the number of influences he has, with the plenitude of properties and with the band of friends in his circle. I begged to disagree. Success is success even without those enumeration. The definition of success as a “favorable outcome” appeals more to me than the second definition as “ gaining of fame, wealth, etc.” It is favorable outcome to me if I have succeeded to overcome my insecurities, if I have triumphed over the challenges of womanhood (or manhood), if I have won souls to God with my deeds and character, if I have molded the young to responsibility, and the like.
A lot of my friends and acquaintances, including my husband, believe otherwise. Success is money, fame and influence, they gathered. And I am a fool for them to believe on the contrary. But I can not blame them, it is their culture and one should not demean them for their beliefs. I was once like them at some points in my life especially when in misery.
The misery that I have sustained, like Marius Pontmercy (in Les Miserables), had ‘developed me in a wretched fashion but sufficient for existence.’ That is success for me. I agree that people can do great deeds in the small struggles of life (still a success for me).
My husband still believes, I perceived, that the measure of success is having a lot of the tangible things in life. I am not aware if how I responded the other day has taken an effect on his person. Maybe, or maybe not, he thinks I am pretending to be virtuous... what gain do I have for being hypocrite, anyway?
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