Takaw-pansin, takaw-away, takaw-gulo

Minsan, nasumpungan kong yayaing muli ang aking si Papsie at mga anak sa Cubao. Napansin kong naiwanan na pala ako sa tangkad ng mga anak ko. Mas mataas pa sila ngayon sa akin – mga batang dati ay kinakalong ko lamang.

Nagpagupit ng buhok si Kay at may highlights pa. Pinakamaiksi niyang buhok ito sa matagal nang panahon. Bumagay naman sa kanya. Katunayan nga, e, ang dami napapalingon J (Proud mother na naman si Mamá :-O ). Isang binatilyo nga ang nakasalubong niya at muntik na akong mabunggo dahil nakangangang napatitig kay Kay. Pwera biro. Hindi nga namin napigil ni Papsie ang matawa.

Nang nasa ikalawang palapag na kami ng isang department store, humiwalay si Kay sa amin at namili ng babagay na t-shirt kay Daryl (napagliliitan na kasi ni Daryl ang kanyang mga damit). Maya-maya ay patakbong lumapit si Kay, “Ma, nakakatakot.” Tinanong namin kung bakit at sinabing nilapitan daw siya ng tatlong lalaki at nagsabi ng “hi”. Sinundan namin ang direksyon ng kanyang mga mata at ang tatlong lalaki naman ay umiwas ng tingin. Pinuntahan ko ang lugar na kinalalagyan ng t-shirt dahil medium lang ang nakuha ni Kay. Naroon ang tatlong lalaki at tiningnan ko ngunit hindi makatingin. Walang kibo akong namili ng t-shirt pero di ko binalak na sitahin dahil wala namang ginawang masama sa anak ko. Maya-maya pa ay umalis na ang mga lalaki.

Naisip ko na makabubuti din na judo ang P.E. ni Kay kahit na noong una ay bantulot akong iyon ang kanyang kinuha. Makakatulong ito sa kanya kung may aatake sa kanya o may mambabastos o magtatangka ng masama. Pero sabi ko nga sa anak ko, ang judo at iba pang uri ng martial arts ay para sa self-defense at hindi dapat abusuhin. Kung binati lang siya ng “hi” ay walang masama doon. Pwede namang bumati pabalik o huwag na lamang pansinin. Kung hihigit pa dito gaya ng nangyari sa kanya noon, maaring gumamit ng kaalaman sa martial arts kahit anong oras. Hindi rin dapat ipakitang natatakot kahit iyon ang nararamdam, dagdag ko.

Ang martial arts pala ay hindi lamang para sa self-defense. Bukod sa gamit nito sa mga kumpetisyon, ito ay nakatutulong upang lumakas ang pangangatawan (physical fitness) at maging payapa ang kaisipan (mental tranquility).

Bukod nga pala sa mga taong takaw-pansin, mayroon din namang takaw-away o takaw-gulo. Ito yaong mga taong madaling madawit sa isang gulo o away. Ang ipinagtataka ko lamang ay kahit walang ginagawa ang mga taong tulad nito ay nasasabit sa gulo. Tulad na lamang ng isang taong kilala ko na minsang napadaan sa mga tambay na nag-iinuman ay bigla na lamang siyang nasuntok ng isa sa mga tambay. Hindi lamang minsan nangyari ito. Nang minsan nakasakay siya sa isang dyip at may sumakay na mama, bigla na lamang siyang sinuntok sa mukha at pinagbantaan na huwag susunod. Nasa mukha kaya ito? Nasa paraan ng pagtingin? Nasa personalidad?

Hay, naku, hindi ko alam ang sagot. Pero mayroon talagang mga taong takaw-pansin, takaw-away, o takaw-gulo. Palagay ko mas pipiliin ng marami ang maging takaw-pansin.

Gone, and a Cloud in My Heart

Gone - flitted away,
Taken the stars from the night and the sun
From the day!
Gone, and a cloud in my heart.
~Alfred Tennyson

I am missing some friends in the blog world.

Nico of The Shadow of Abaniko is on a hiatus. No whys. No explanation. I miss the intelligent and wacky posts. There are times that he makes my day.

I keep coming back to you in my head, but you couldn't know that, and I have no carbons. ~Adrienne Rich

Chris of Fish in a Bowl, left with a nightmare. Wonder if he had gone to the netherland. Oh, wait, the message in the shoutbox said he'd be back soon. And how soon?

In the hope to meet
Shortly again, and make our absence sweet.
~Ben Jonson

Little Teapot of Looking Out at the World said goobye to the blogworld. She 'won't be able to update EVER.' I can never have the chance to read such verses again.

We only part to meet again. ~John Gay

Beatburn of When You Have the Monopoly of Wit seemed to have given up early. Here's wishing that he continues to write. He has radical views at times but he can stick with his opinion.

Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos. ~Charles M. Schulz

Locamama of Mga Kwento sa Buhay ng Isang Nanay stopped sharing her hilarious opinions and experiences after tasting the niyebe. Could it be because of the niyebe?

Missing you could turn from pain to pleasure, if I knew you were missing me too. ~Author Unknown

Tintin of Takore had forgotten to update. Wasnt able to recover?

Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated. ~Lamartine

Maybe Goryo of Kape ng Ina Nyo became tired of posting thoughts. I noticed that his pictures are updated though.

Scraps of Thoughts

*If It Is Not Meant

When life becomes harsh, it makes us long for things that others have. We wish that someday, we also end up like them - successful in the endeavors they took, which we desire to happen in our lives. Then life becomes mean barring us from success, and bumping off every step we make to our goal. We then become restless, hopeless, depressed, and longing for more.

Then one day, we look around and saw others in situations harsher than ours. We discover that we are blessed to have gotten this far, and better than before. Consolation it may seem but we look around again, and see that there are realities that we have to deal. If it is not meant to be, it is not meant to be. We still have to do something about a situation but we have to face realities. We have to accept if things went awry despite the exhaustion of efforts. We have to live because there are others that need to live because we live.

*I am no superwoman.

It is amazing how others regard me and depend on me. They seem to think that I am always capable of being there when they need something, as in I can always give, or be capable of helping every time they think they need me. Absurd how they live life always depending on others, these people are. And when I am in need, I cannot even run to them for emotional support. On second thought, I would prefer to give than receive.

*Being Nonchalant

There are people who can live this way, and can still afford to be cranky when they do nothing.

*Ten Simple Pleasures

It is such a compliment to find out that somebody took time to remember you... and with a tag! So, Agring, here goes (in no particular order) my top ten simple pleasures:

1. evening meal with husband and kids
2. chummy talks with kids
3. intimate time with hubby until the wee hours
4. telling, and listening to, funny stories
5. quiet times
6. girl talks
7. reading posts of my favorite bloggers
8. cook for the family
9. foot spa
10. taking pictures and organizing them

mon-mon, din-din, mushy, jane and jhay, I choose you to share your simple pleasures in life, if you have time ;-)

Alicia Keys Unplugged

One evening, the family watched DVD. It was Alicia Keys. She is one of my kids’ favorites. And is becoming my favorite, too.

I find in her songs lyrics that touch the soul. After all, she is a soul musician. One of her songs, Streets of New York (City Life), has some sort of narration that in part says:

Why not fly? Why not try?

This constant games to stay high

But all is just a state of mind

All is reality of your choice

Here is a part of that narration that tells about faith and conviction:

Pleading, pleading, praying

For God to come

What are we waiting for

Why are we so afraid of taking charge

But it’s changing always

In the constant change of going nowhere

We all have demons to battle, roads to walk

Crosses to bear, mistakes and sins

Below are the songs that became my favorites. The lyrics or the song words that follow each song are the lines that influenced me greatly or more appropriately, inspired me to the max.

If I Ain’t Got You

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby

A Woman’s Worth

Wanna please wanna keep wanna treat your woman right
Not just dough but to show that you know she is worth your time
You will lose if you chose to refuse to put her first
She will if she can find a man who knows her worth

Karma

Cause what goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.

Unbreakable

Cuz he ain't no different from you
And she ain't no different from me
So we got to live our dreams
Like the people on TV

Diary

I won't tell your secrets
Your secrets are safe with me
I will keep your secrets
Just ain't goin' be as the pages in your diary

Alicia Keys Unplugged was a MTV July 2005 feature.

Many thanks to the following links for her pics.

LaCoccinelle.net

Stars2go

CelebrityBirthdayBlog.com

Ovationtv.com

Scam Alert

I bet everybody who has an email is not spared by these email scams. A friend had told me that this site provides information about email scams. I would like to reiterate these types FYI.

1. Advance Fee Fraud : Sample letter can be found here.


2. Lottery Scams: Sample letter can be found here.


3. Phishing: Sample letter can be found here.


4. Auction Scams: Sample letter can be found here.

My friend said that the people behind these are hardened criminals so be very cautious and careful. The best way to deal with it is IGNORE or DELETE the email. That way, you don't get the chance to read and be enticed of the contents. Some of the letters succeed invading your INBOX instead of landing in your BULK folder.

So, be very careful, friends. I just cannot let this pass without a warning. I can't bear the thought of another person victimized by these email scams.

"They don't affect me."

When I went home yesterday and stayed in our room, Daryl’s face emerged at the door. I was lying on the bed annoyed because I cannot find his ID. I have to pay P300 again if that ID cannot be found. Then I asked him if he remembered where I put his ID and he replied no. I must find the ID before school begins.

Then Daryl sat beside me. I noticed how he sits and rebuked him about his posture. I told him to be conscious of how he stands and sits. His height had made him stoop and it looked ugly to me. I got up and while sitting I showed him convincingly how he looks. He laughed at me mimicking him.

I went on telling him that it doesn’t look good on him to have a posture that seems uncertain or unsure. And I continued asking if he is not concerned about what people might say about him.

And this is EXACTLY what he said:

“I do not let what other people has to say about me affect me. I think that if I let them affect me, I would not be able to think and decide on my own.”

I was completely in awe of him, “That’s nice. But you have to take heed of what I am telling you. It would help you look good.” Really, my 13-year-old’s words always take me by surprise. He is a kid one moment then an adult another time discussing things with me in a surprisingly mature way.

The discussion went about having friends and he mentioned that when he was in grade six, one of his friends, which is a girl, became an antagonist. It came to a point that he hated her because she labeled him as ‘autistic’. “Oh, no, that’s foul,” I said to myself and asked him why his friend called him that. He said he doesn’t know. Maybe, according to him, she finds him weird because he does not socialize that much before. He likes reading more than making friends, he said, and that I couldn’t agree more. He continued expressing himself that it is only now (high school) that he gets to realize the importance of friendship, that there are things worth sharing with friends and that they sort of make his day.

Daryl had forgiven his friend and added that he cannot completely recall the many horrible words the girl hurled at him. What is important to him is the present, he said. He is more than happy now.

My son had never discussed these when he was still in grade six probably because he knows I will react in such a manner that he wouldn’t agree. He does not like me ‘meddling with his affairs’. He ‘can manage’ and will be the one ‘to resolve’ things. That is how things must be for him. In his still undeveloped world, he thrives sensibly.

This is just for fun. If you want to try it, you can. Then tell me the birth number you got and if it corresponds with the real you.

BIRTHDATES

The birth date describes who we are, what we are good at and what our inborn abilities are. It also points to what we have to learn and the challenges we are facing. To figure out your Birth Number, add all the numbers in the birth date together like in the example until there is only one digit. The Birth Number does not prevent you from being anything you want it will just color your choice differently.

Example: March 20, 1950

 

3 + 20 + 1950 = 1973 = 1 + 9 + 7 + 3 = 20 = 2 + 0 = 2

2 is the Birth Number to read for the birth date in the example.

You are the _____,

#1 THE ORIGINATOR

#2 THE PEACEMAKER

#3 THE LIFE OF THE PARTY

#4 THE CONSERVATIVE

#5 THE NONCONFORMIST

#6 THE ROMANTIC

#7 THE INTELLECTUAL

#8 THE BIG SHOT

#9 THE PERFORMER

 

# 1 - THE ORIGINATOR

1's are originals. Coming up with new ideas and executing them is natural. Having things their own way is another trait that gets them as being stubborn and arrogant. 1's are extremely honest and do well to learn some diplomacy skills. They like to take the initiative and are often leaders or bosses, as they like to be the best. Being self-employed is definitely helpful for them. Lesson to learn: Others' ideas might be just as good or better and to stay open minded.

Famous 1's: Tom Hanks, Robert Redford, Hulk Hogan, Carol Burnett, Wynona Judd, Nancy Reagan, Raquel Welch.

# 2 - THE PEACEMAKER

2's are the born diplomats. They are aware of others' needs and moods and often think of others before themselves. Naturally analytical and very intuitive they don't like to be alone. Friendship and companionship is very important and can lead them to be successful in life, but on the other hand they'd rather be alone than in an uncomfortable relationship. Being naturally shy they should learn to boost their self-esteem and express themselves freely and seize the moment and not put things off.

Famous 2's: President Bill Clinton, Madonna, Whoppie Goldberg, Thomas Edison, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.

# 3 - THE LIFE OF THE PARTY

3's are idealists. They are very creative, social, charming, romantic, and easygoing. They start many things, but don't always see them through. They like others to be happy and go to great lengths to achieve it. They are very popular and idealistic. They should learn to see the world from a more realistic point of view.

Famous 3's: Alan Alda, Ann Landers, Bill Cosby, Melanie Griffith, Salvador Dali, Jodie Foster.

# 4 - THE CONSERVATIVE

4's are sensible and traditional. They like order and routine. They only act when they fully understand what they are expected to do. They like getting their hands dirty and working hard. They are attracted to the outdoors and feel an affinity with nature. They are prepared to wait and can be stubborn and persistent. They should learn to be more flexible and to be nice to themselves.

Famous 4's: Neil Diamond, Margaret Thatcher, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tina Turner, Paul Hogan, Oprah Winfrey

# 5 - THE NONCONFORMIST

5's are the explorers. Their natural curiosity, risk taking, and enthusiasm often land them in hot water. They need diversity, and don't like to be stuck in a rut. The whole world is thei> r school and they see a learning possibility in every situation. The questions never stop. They are well advised to look before they take action and make sure they have all the facts before jumping to conclusions.

Famous 5's: Abraham Lincoln, Charlotte Bronte, Jessica Walter, Vincent Van Gogh, Bette Midler, Helen Keller and Mark Hamil.

# 6 - THE ROMANTIC

6's are idealistic and need to feel useful to be happy. A strong family connection is important to them. Their emotions influence their decisions. They have a strong urge to take care of others and to help. They are very loyal and make great teachers. They like art or music. They make loyal friends who take the friendship seriously. 6's should learn to differentiate between what they can change and what they cannot.

Famous 6's: Albert Einstein, Jane Seymour, John Denver, Meryl Streep, Christopher Columbus, Goldie Hawn.

# 7 - THE INTELLECTUAL

7's are the searchers. Always probing for hidden information, they find it difficult to accept things at face value. Emotions don't sway their decisions. Questioning everything in life, they don't like to be questioned themselves. They're never off to a fast start, and their motto is slow and steady wins the race. They come across as philosophers and being very knowledgeable, and sometimes as loners. They are technically inclined and make great researchers uncovering information. They like secrets. They live in their own world and should learn what is acceptable and what not in the world at large.

Famous 7's: William Shakespeare, Lucille Ball, Michael Jackson, Joan Baez, Princess Diana.

# 8 - THE BIG SHOT

8's are the problem solvers. They are professional, blunt and to the point, have good judgment and are decisive. They have grandiose plans and like to live the good life. They view people objectively. They let you know in no uncertain terms that they are the boss. They should learn to x-ud their decisions on their own needs rather than on what others want.

Famous 8's: Edgar Cayce, Barbra Streisand, George Harrison, Jane Fonda, Pablo Picasso, Aretha Franklin, Nostrodamus

# 9 - THE PERFORMER

9's are natural entertainers. They are very caring and generous, giving away their last dollar to help. With their charm, they have no problem making friends and nobody is a stranger to them. They have so many different personalities that people around them have a hard time understanding them. They are like chameleons, ever changing and blending in. They have tremendous luck, but also can suffer from extremes in fortune and mood. To be successful, they need to build a loving foundation.

Famous 9's: Albert Schweitzer, Shirley MacLaine, Harrison Ford, Steinem, Jimmy Carter, Elvis Presley.

I am glad to have my birth number - 6.

Nakalimutan Mong Gumulong

Noong Biyernes, nang makita ko ang kaliwang bahagi ng mukha mo na puro pasa at namamaga, parang hiniwa ang puso ko. Nanlaki ang ulo ko. Nadapa ka pala sa UP nang papunta ka sa CR. Hindi mo pala kasama si Kay kasi siya ang nakapila para sa enrollment.

Ang kwento mo sa akin, sumabit ang sapatos mo sa isang nakausling bato at uma-ambon-ambon pa noon. Pinilit mong iniiwas ang iyong mukha, pero paano mo gagawin iyon? Buti na lamang at walang nakausling bato sa binagsakan ng iyong mukha. Sumakit ang kanang balikat mo at hanggang sa kinabukasan ay hindi mo na ito maitaas dahil sa sakit. Napuwersa, Papsie, ang kanang balikat at braso mo sa pagpupumilit mong makaiwas.

Naalala ko noong anim na buwan pa lang si Daryl noon at siya ay karga mo. Nasabit ang tsinelas mo sa isang nakausli ring bato. Bago pa man bumagsak si Daryl ay nagawa mo nang igulong ang katawan mo upang hindi siya ang humampas o mahulog. Puro galos ka rin noon. Buti na lamang at walang grabeng nangyari sa inyong dalawa. Takot na takot ako noon at pinagbawalan ka nang lumakad na karga-karga si Daryl.

Iyon ang nakalimutan mo, Papsie, ang igulong ang katawan para hindi ka gaanong nasaktan. :-) O talaga lamang mas mabigat ka na ngayon kaya hindi mo kinayang igulong ang katawan? O nawala ang pagka-stunt man mo?

Ngayon ko naisip, hindi ka dapat lumalakad nang nag-iisa at walang kasama. Iika-ika ka na ngang maglakad at hindi na rin bumabata, at bumibigat pa. Huwag sanang matigas ang ulo at sundin ang mga payo.

Sabi nila dapat asahan ang mga hindi inaasahan. Ang aksidente ay nangyayari kahit na nga nag-iingat.

When Moms Fail

Mothers are human beings, too. They are not superheroes. But they are multiskilled, multitalented, and almost omniscient. Mothers know best, so they say.

Mothers are revered all over the world because of their unconditional love, of their undying service, and of their unquestionable loyalty. They have many labels, each uniquely adapted by each loving child, or husband, or friend. Fathers cannot even dispute the respect and admiration for them.

But some mothers fail, too, and they fail miserably. Of course, they are hated, ridiculed, frowned on, disrespected, or ignored. They might have failed because of many reasons. But they are still mothers. They are the creatures who had borne children into this world. Even if their children disown them and hated them for bringing them into this world.

Should a child remain bitter for the rest of her life because of the misery her/his mother had given? In some situations, this cannot be avoided especially when each child has to deal with the cruelties of the world. But when one is born into this world, one can always have the chance to do something for one's self. A child cannot forever be bitter. He/She will inevitably have to face life on his/her own, without a mother, or a father. He/She has to have a life, and it will not depend on anyone. It will depend on how he/she breathes his/her life.

I dare say we have to love our mothers, even if they do not pass the quality test.

Talked to a Ghost?

D, a high school friend, called me up yesterday afternoon. She told me a bad news – J, a high school classmate, died of heart attack. J was D’s boyfriend during the secondary school years. And he was one of my crushes, too, not because he was good-looking, but because he was a smart lad.

D talked to J last March, 2006 persuading him to get a credit card. J called her up via the cellular phone and welcomed the idea. He asked her to visit him in his shop because he wanted to see her. D replied when she’d have the time, she will bring me and A (another friend.) It was only yesterday when D thought of calling J up again. The daughter told D that her Daddy had passed away last November, 2005 to D’s surprise.

D frantically told me everything. And I replied how it could be possible that she talked to J last March, 2006 if he was already dead. During the time, I was already having goose bumps and I felt like my head is bloating. Is she for real? Is she playing games with me? But no, she sounded serious and nervous at the same time. And she added, “This is the second time. Before, I also saw my first boyfriend at a mall and talked to him only to find out he was already dead for three years.”

Creepy, I know. But what is playing off my mind is the truth behind the allegation. D is not a hallucinating drug addict. Maybe a little disillusioned but not mentally ill. Maybe she is fond of taking people for a ride in some occasions but not this kind of prank. She sounded real and she seemed disturbed by the experience. Who would not be disturbed?

I read stories like Firecracker but do not believe entirely that there is a possibility of seeing ghosts. I took it as something of a mind yield – like someone must be thinking so much about a certain person that he/she was able to see or talk to them even if they are already gone. But how do I know? How do I know if there are people who can really see the dead? Is that some kind of a gift – to see dead people?

There is a verse in the Bible (Deuteronomy 18:10-11) that says, “Let no one be found among you who sacrifices his son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead.” Does this mean that there are those who can communicate with the dead, or that they have some kind of a gift of seeing and talking to the dead?

I refuse to be given such a gift. Just thinking of it makes me shiver.

What LIFE Is - From a Friend

The Death of Achilles, by Peter Paul Rubens.*

A long time ago, there was an Emperor who told his horseman that if he could ride on his horse and cover as much land area as he likes, then the Emperor would give him the area of land he has covered.

Sure enough, the horseman quickly jumped onto his horse and rode as fast as possible to cover as much land area as he could. He kept on riding and riding, whipping the horse to go as fast as possible. When he was hungry or tired, he did not stop because he wanted to cover as much area as possible.

Came to a point when he had covered a substantial area and he was exhausted and was dying. Then he asked himself, "Why did I push myself so hard to cover so much land area? Now I am dying and I only need a very small area to bury myself."

The above story is similar with the journey of our Life. We push very hard everyday to make more money, to gain power and recognition. We neglect our health, time with our family and to appreciate the surrounding beauty and the hobbies we love.

One day when we look back, we will realize that we don't really need that much, but then we cannot turn back time for what we have missed.

Life is not about making money, acquiring power or recognition. Life is definitely not about work! Work is only necessary to keep us living so as to enjoy the beauty and pleasures of life. Life is a balance of Work and Play, Family and Personal time. You have to decide how you want to balance your Life. Define your priorities, realize what you are able to compromise but always let some of your decisions be based on your instincts. Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of Life, the whole aim of human existence.

So, take it easy, do what you want to do and appreciate nature. Life is fragile, Life is short. Do not take Life for granted. Live a balanced lifestyle and enjoy Life!

Watch your thoughts ; they become words.

Watch your words ; they become actions.

Watch your actions ; they become habits.

Watch your habits; they become character.

Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

*picture courtesy of Women in Greek Myths.

It Was My Birthday

Yesterday was my birthday.

Nothing fancy. Just a simple celebration. I prepared tuna pasta, wheat bread, and turbo broiled chicken for the evening meal. Oh, we also had Rango VII and Tres Cepas. Backup supply is scarce. Good thing Papsie’s friends brought nilagang pata ng baboy and carbonara. Papsie cooked the leftover tuna and made a variation of tuna omelet which they so love. We also had peanuts which we bought from a nine-year old little girl still sauntering the streets at past nine o’clock.

It was not what you can call a celebration really. It was a simple merry making. We and some friends had fun. I guess it is the idea of a gathering with its many entertaining tittle-tattles that made the simple get-together fun.

Wolves in Sheep’s Clothing

Yesterday, the priest told a story about two ‘priests’ that stopped at houses and asked for donations for their parishes at Fairview and Caloocan last May 1 fiesta. The people from the different places of the barangay were told that they perform some canonical functions like house blessing (with a fee of course). They had with them a permit from the barangay. This is odd because it must come from the parish church of the place not the barangay. It was learned that the Aglipayan congregation has no parish at either the two places mentioned. No priests have those names, too. Another racket proliferating, eh?

Walk the Talk

During the homily, the priest asked what the parishioners think as the best traits of a parish priest. Those who were asked enumerated a few traits. Daryl whispered that a priest should practice what he preaches. Which means walk the talk, Father Buddy – just as simple as that?

Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is

I cannot help be disappointed with some people who would greet me a happy birthday superficially. Seems like they just greet me because of the food they expect me to bring and give. Here I go again. I might be branded as negative once again. But you see I am the one experiencing all these straightaway. These people ignore me most of the time as if I don’t exist. I feel amused at the smiles, greetings and even the peck on my cheek as if I am a close and treasured friend.

It’s vulgar to be famous,

That isn’t what makes you great…

- Boris Pasternak

I was shocked about how many people remember my birthday. I was kind of petrified that a lot of people know exactly the date of my birthday. Petrified because of their expectations maybe I am. Well, it is hard to please everybody, anyway. So, why make fuss out of it?

Thanks Much

And to all who cared to greet me deeply, many thanks. To all who remembered my birthday, many thanks. To all who wished well for me on my birthday, many thanks.

Many thanks to hubby, who’s always there, even in the trying days of our lives. To my wonderful kids, who are like peers, and are always making fun of me, thank you very much. You are oh so dear to me.

I offer my thanks to the Lord for giving me another day to live.

Is it With Age?

I have been experiencing working memories lately. Aside from the post about forgetting my eye contact lens solution, there are many other instances that I suffered like the following:

1. Every morning I do this ritual: open the eye contact lens canister, get the eye contact solution, get the contact lens, cleanse them with the solution, put them on. Each night, the ritual is this: throw away the solution which was left in the morning, remove the contact lenses, put them in the canister, pour eye contact solution into the canister. Guess what, I followed the evening ritual one morning with the contact lenses still in the canister! Lucky the eaves are there to receive the soft lenses.


2. I discovered I was not wearing a bra on my way to work. Good thing I was still halfway to work.


3. I placed the pack of sanitary napkins on the dresser and told myself not to forget it after putting on my contact lenses. We were meters away when I remembered that I have to bring the goddam sanitary napkins.


4. Because water supply is scarce, we always go to sleep late at night. We have to fill up all the big water containers (drums) and the two washing machines. One night, Papsie asked me to close the faucet at the wash area for a while because he had to use the CR. I forgot to open the faucet afterwards and thinking I was done filling up the washing machine, I continued watching teevee. Two hours were spent. All the drums could have been filled up that time.


5. I forgot to switch off the stove while cooking rice. The time I recalled I was cooking, the rice was overcooked with the sides burnt. We had to eat with small rations of rice. Daryl was very sad he had not eaten much.

And here is my question: Is it with age? Or because the brain cells are decaying? But I read that this Decay Theory had not earned that much support or credence yet.

Perhaps, there are reasons. Just think about an officemate, 10 years younger than me, and she had put toothpaste on her comb instead. Or Daryl, who forgot where he kept the P1,000 peso bill that his grandma had just handed over. And many other instances that have nothing to do with ‘aged’ or ‘aging’ people’s memory lapses.

Microsoft Encarta Reference Library 2004 has this to say (Memory):

Forgetting can occur rapidly from working memory.

Working memory has a basic limitation: It can hold only a limited amount of information at one time.

Studies have also shown that working memory changes with age.As children grow older, their working memory capacity increases. Working memory declines in old age and in some typesof brain diseases, such as Alzheimer’s disease.

Working memory capacity is correlated with intelligence. . . The more capacity people have to hold information in mind while they think, the more intelligent they are.

Forgetting - fact of life, or a phenomenon we have to anticipate.

Life is a Blur Once Again

(should have been posted May 3, 2006)

My memory failed me once again. Yesterday, I forgot to carry back with me my eye contact solution which I brought to the office to wet the lenses during the day. I remembered it only when my eyes hurt while bloghopping last night. And then groping through my bag, and not finding my eyeglasses and eye contact solution, I decided to browse the net myopically.

It does not seem to be a normal day with a blurred vision. With a 550/600 vision, objects, structures and people are shapes and shadows dancing or moving. I recognize the shape but do not have the actual idea of the details. I can identify people but their faces are more like distorted shapes – the eyes are like big patches, the lips are like thick horizontal streaks, the nose like lumps of clay in the middle of the face, and the hair seems bushy. But it helps not knowing what emotion is registered. That is one advantage. People looked like zombies, not smiling or sulking. It is just ok, saving myself from whatever impression I read from face projections.

But in retrospect, I like to see the world with a clear vision. When I was wearing eyeglasses, friends told me to shift to contact lenses. (Many years after I decided to wear contact lenses.) I would often tell people who would tell me not to wear eyeglasses because I look better without them, “Di ka na maganda/gwapo pag wala akong salamin (You do not look pretty/handsome without my eyeglasses).” I just can’t be with a hazy world and I just can’t endure not seeing the details. It makes me feel insecure.

Life is not beautiful without clarity, I guess. Vagueness may tell otherwise. But for me, life should be encountered and taken in with its fine points.