Recently there were people who were promoted and were given a raise. One of those promoted became controversial because of a joke that she was given a big amount which was bought by a listener and had spread like fire. It was learned that somebody even reacted unlikely to the news. The promotion was not yet official because management had not circulated a memorandum yet.
I can just imagine how these aspirants create a stir among a group of disgruntled employees. It was proven afterwards by the tales of some others that some of them have negative reactions. It's to be expected because these people will do anything to make that person look as if undeserving.
And speaking of people who can't be happy for others, there must be reasons. Here is an account about two mothers, one is a gratified mother, and the other is a mortified one:
The gratified mother announced to a friend that her daughter is a possible candidate as university scholar. It happened that the mortified mother was there, silent but was all ears to the news. The gratified mother spoke naturally with no intentions of bragging. She told her friend that her daughter even got a flat 1.0 in one of her subjects. Her friend was so excited to hear the news (as is expected from friends). The mortified mother was silent, not saying a word. When the gratified mother left, the mortified one exclaimed, "That is a very easy subject!"
This mortified mother received weeks ago her daughter's report card and the results were bad. Her son purportedly skipped classes for obvious reasons. Her husband left her for another.
I think it is not necessary anymore to explain why the upset mother suddenly blurted out her bitterness. Though we all naturally experience envy, welcoming it with arms wide open surely will be the start of all those negative feelings towards others. Why not join the fun? Why not congratulate a winner or somebody who got promoted or somebody who had received good news? After all, to be happy for others will surely invite good vibes. It will even make your heart healthy and will give you a peaceful life.
that's why there's no contentment. people always tend to compare themselves with others.
ReplyDeletevery true. but i guess it's really part of human nature. to be envious, to feel discontent.
ReplyDeleteang hirap talaga maging mabait. :(
hi, evi, and mayo! i agree, mahirap magpakabait. but if we just have to see ourselves as unique individuals who can stand from the rest despite the lack, then it would be an easier world to live in.
ReplyDeletewe all pass that stage naman where we feel really lacking and useless, but sabi nga, we can use our weaknesses as our strength to go on. :-) para lang namang gulong ang buhay...
Totally agree... that to be happy for others would invite good vibes and give you a peaceful and contented life. I wonder if that's a Filipino trait... this inggitan. It's true even in Filipino communities abroad.
ReplyDeletehi, toe. heard of that about Filipinos abroad. it's a shame that kapwa Pinoy pa minsan ang dahilan ng distress ng kapwa nila Pinoy. and most of those cases is because of envy, or self-gain. maybe it happens, too, in other countries - that inggitan. pero mas matindi yata sa atin. :-(
ReplyDeleteAy naku, Bing. This is one universal malady that we must all strive to control. And you are right -- the root cause of envy is anger (or bitterness).
ReplyDeleteTo change my life for the better, a practice I started doing since a few years back is to celebrate (though only in thought) other people's successes or wins. In so doing, I breath life to a belief that the universe is infinitely prosperous and that there's more than enough for each and every one of us to partake from it.
Sample case: For almost a year now, I made sure I felt happy for fellow bloggers and camera club members whenever they announced having finally gotten their dream gear. I would congratulate them and excitedly ask them technical questions about their recent acquisitions.
And when asked when I plan to get mine, instead of saying, "I cannot afford to ..." I would instead say, "I am not ready to buy at this time the ..."
And lo and behold, with such attitude, an opportunity arose that I finally was able to purchase my dream camera. I'm not being ostentatious; merely sharing a very effective tool to overcome a frailty common to us humans.
I had touched upon this personal belief in one of the entries (fiction) I wrote last year, Windfall.
http://senorenrique.blogspot.com/2005/10/windfall.html
Enjoy your Sunday!
Bing, I think people who can't be happy for others are selfish. It is normal to be sad for the fate of one's own kin (example, a brother who didn't win, a child who failed a subject) but I think that envying another person for his good lot is an entirely different thing. When I was still teaching and whenever it was grade-giving time, I always made it a point to observe my students' reactions when they got their grades. That gave me a glimpse of their personalities.
ReplyDeletea malady indeed, eric. i think some people fail to realize that with a positive outlook like having hope that one day we can also have some of the things we want or like, it truly invites realization to manifest by itself. it could be our driving power to pursue our dreams and goals in life.
ReplyDeletei agree with you, bugs. being selfish limits a person and it goes also with his frame of mind. unbelievable sometimes, but this people can destroy others because of envy.
These are very insecure people who thrive on bitterness and the fall of others. Try to trace their background and what sort of life they live and all you can give with your good heart is pity for this sort of person. They've never been able to accept that there are people around them. It's the kind most of us don't like associating with.
ReplyDeletepersonally, ipanema, i have that feeling also to those kind - i pity them truly. but even in such a pitiful condition, it's no reason to be indifferent because of envy. and yes, i tend to dissociate myself from them.
ReplyDeleteTo feel envious at other's good graces may at times be inevitable but sadly some of us feel so strong in envy that they can't control it and reacts in such a bad way. I won't do that coz I feel that it is so embarassing and distressing. I just have to learn to accept things the way they are.
ReplyDeleteHave to say, i'm a guilty one too!
ReplyDeleteSour-graping over someone's fortune is something I wish i didn't do, but it happens :S Its just natural to be envious i think.
Hay naku, envy. It really does consume you to the very core. Isn't that why it is among the seven deadly sins?
ReplyDeleteThis happened to my sister,
ReplyDeletewhen she passed UPCAT... our neighbors spread a rumor that she might nit make it... sabi nila mapapariwara lang daw...
Then when she graduated as cum laude... We heard a rumor that she's pregnant
And now...
according to the news, she has a sugar daddy.
hi, major tom. well. as i've said, we naturally experience envy. but it's not normal to do unbelievable things because of envy.
ReplyDeleteam a guilty one, too, will, but in times like this that one's character is tested. it's one way of the enemy, i believe, to entice us to do bad things.
yes, read that, too, single.
malicious people! 'lam mo, mon, yan ang mga klase ng tao masaya pa kung may mangyaring masama sa 'yo. 'yun tipong nagrerejoice pa!
hi bing,
ReplyDeleteit's always better to count the blessings rather than the losses, dont you think?
dp
Some are so enslaved by jealousy that they find it excruciatingly difficult to high-five a colleague who got a promotion. In short, they are sore losers.
ReplyDeleteI hate them
ReplyDeleteThis is a universal truth: "to be happy for others (will surely) invites good vibes. It will even make your heart healthy and will give you a peaceful life."
ReplyDeleteI wish, lahat ng tao will do this kasi totoong totoo ito sa akin at sa pamilya namin. Lapitin or in fact habulin ka ng swerte pag ganito ang sinunod mo. Maniwala kayo.
hi, dp! i do believe that :-)
ReplyDeletebeen seeing a lot of sore losers these days, bw.
dont hate them, mon. pity them.
wow, di pwede na rin akong lumapit sa yo he he, rolly?
When one learns to be happy for others for whatever reason, he learns to come to terms with life. He has found contentment without being complacent. To a large extent, he has found peace in life.
ReplyDeleteI cannot say that I am happy for everyone all the time, but I am getting better by the day and I find myself happier each time I celebrate the success and good fortune of others. It is indeed a happy life recipe.
could'nt agree more, bayi. it is a nice feeling to feel that way about the success of other people. but sometimes it is frustrating to think why bad people seem to succeed with their ill doings. :-(
ReplyDelete