Why are some people ungrateful boors?
Here is a story.
There is an old widow who has five kids. She lives with a son who is an invalid for a long time. The son and his family do not have a choice but to live with the old widow and her usual fret and frenzy. Because of his condition, he and his family have to live up with the situation and try to recompense (in whatever way possible) the goodness and the goodwill (according to the old widow's sense of these words) that is being accorded to them, and bear all the insults deliberately hurled at them.
None of the other siblings really cared. It seems with how things are going that they are just trying to conceal the envy or the bitterness they feel towards their brother. In some events though, their hidden resentments show by displaying their childish rage over petty things and by treating him unjustly most of the time. The younger brother deals with all these silently. In some instances, one of the brothers would demand deviously but purposely his share of the food, and some food items, that are available in the old widow's house. The other two sisters demand the same, with the older sister being more demanding.
But it is the older sister that is being favored most among the siblings. With no apparent reason (because the boorish sister is not even pretty nor sensible), the old widow takes always the older sister's side and most of the time has a reason for the ill manners of this older sister. Many times, the older sister would go to the house of the old widow and ransack the fridge (no holds barred) without thinking if the others who dwell in the house had eaten already.
Many times, the boorish sister and her brood of equally insecure brats would visit the house to eat then leave their morsels, and the table unkempt. The son and his wife would often laugh at the matter as a case of eat-and-run.
Such is life for the son; and for the old widow who takes joy in the occasional visit of her precious child because of the tidbits she gathers from her. Then one day, the old widow was shocked to hear that her favorite demands that her share of her inheritance be given to her. The old widow refuses and told her that they would not get it until she dies and that was the agreement for everybody. The effort becomes futile as the ungrateful daughter insists that she has a right.
This made the old widow very depressed to the point of getting sick. She thought of the possibilities that they are already waiting for her to die, or that they would throw her out of the house if her favorite daughter was the one who lives with her. The son who lives with the old widow got very mad upon learning the account. He could only vent his anger while relating the story to his wife.
*******
Back to the question, Why are some people ungrateful boors?
To which Papsie answered:
- Because they think differently.
- Because they think there is nothing to be grateful for, and they owe nobody nothing.
- Because they do not know how to be a human being.
And I answered 'because their skin is so thick you can actually feel it while talking to them at a distance.' :-D
The old widow shouldn't be surprised at her favorite child's selfish behavior. All she had to do is to look at herself...
ReplyDeletethis sounds so familiar. i've heard similar stories from other families. i share your sentiments
ReplyDeleteThis underscores the adage we often hear - familiarity breeds contempt. If all siblings went their own way, lived with their own families no matter if they are struggling such friction and bad blood would have been avoided.
ReplyDeleteA person's sense of empathy starts during the first 5 years of his life. Unable to learn this from his parents, he will grow up with a heart as cold as ice on the tongue and hard a brick on the head.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine this happening to my own family. I agree with Richmond. Your orientation growing up is a big factor...
ReplyDeleteThey say charity starts from home and so does the term "gratefulness" and other virtues. People are often selfish and take things for granted even more when they know someone is siding them even though they are in the wrong.
ReplyDeleteBoors will always remain as boors; and it'll be passed down to their broods unless they turn into new leaves.
familiar indeed
ReplyDeletei know people who're like that :(
very true, single. children are always a reflection of their parents, one way or the other. :-D add the fact that they have something in common.
ReplyDeletemy sentiments on the matter, slim, is actually more than my final statement. :-D
whose to blame, bw? the dependency is being tolerated. if it was made clear to them that when they marry, they would be on their own, probably there would be lesser problem. also, if they were taught to care for each other as siblings, there would never be a problem at all. i know a friend who has a sister who can never go to work because she has weak resistance. they're helping her her though she's already married without questions. i asked why, of course. she said that her sister has been good to her. point of the matter is, it is not a question to help at all if the people you help knows how to recompense or acknowledge the goodness being given. :-)
perhaps, mon,, the boorish sister was never taught how to empathize during her early years. :-)
some people say, verns, those words 'family is all i got' but i think not everybody can say those words with heartfelt longing and caring and love. because the family that is supposed to be a refuge becomes the enemy. :-)
such people exist, kyels - insensitive to the needs of others, even their siblings, or their immediate family.
hi, tutubi! welcome aboard! yea, a lot of people are like the old widow, the boorish sister, and the passive son. :-D
Oh, if inheritance and possesion is involved, I've heard many stories about these and grievous conflicts all abound. On the radio, on TV and in the papers.
ReplyDeleteI feel like its a social phenomenon in this country, where resources are limited and family members are often wrangling over possessions and issues of ownerships; even towards bloody conflicts.
There are many people who only think of themselves and really believe that the world revolves around them. With ot without family, some think they are self-made! haaaayyyy naku!
ReplyDeleteSabi sa experiment shown in Animal planet, accquired or learned daw ang pagiging maramot, ingrato/ingrata at iba pa.
ReplyDeleteBy nature daw, ang mga tao o hayop ay makapamilya.
Because they are evil.
ReplyDeletepeople have their reasons. :( whether we like those reasons or not, we are not in the position to judge their acts. some traits are engrained in one's personality, while some are learned, it takes a whole lot of "psychologizing" to understand such. and people, they just have their reasons, and i guess we need to respect such no matter how wrong they may sound/appear.
ReplyDeleteposted a new entry by the way bing, title is: tell me where it hurts. i know you can relate to this one because you're a mom. id love to hear what you have to say. :) tnx! c ya soon bing!
sorry folks for not responding ASAP - busy, busy, busy! :-D
ReplyDeletemajor tom, i think this is not happening in the Philippines only. we may not know but perhaps there are also those from other countries, affluent and economically sufficient, who are more greedy ha ha ha
ah, yes, duke, people who think that others must do something about their situation, or that others should empathize because they are badly off.
ha ha rolly, naalala ko tuloy ang anak ng isang kasama sa trabaho, umuwi galing school at sabi, "Mommy, we are animals!" "Who told you?" ika ng mommy. "My teacher."
:-D at Sidney.
hi, ruff, this is a thought-provoking post i think. everybody must have based their comments on the limited facts that is in the post. but it would be much easier to respect others who are reasonable or tolerable. it is like trying to understand the reason behind a son killing his mother who had been good to him. no matter how i try, it would be really difficult for me to understand such a thing. the same thing with the boorish sister in this story. :-)