The Desire to Scratch

Itch. Depending on the usage, itch can mean a feeling of wanting to scratch, or a longing for something, or an itchy skin disorder. All three meanings can be summed up into one – the desire to scratch.

I am not a medical expert to discuss skin disorders like pruritus. I am about to share my two cents worth on the other itch – the seven-year itch. I think people my age, or people who are into successful long time marriages, can speak of it. Why? Perhaps the adage “experience is the best teacher” is true. Though a long-term relationship cannot be a basis to say that the marriage is successful.

This post is not saying, “Talk about your own experiences”. This is not telling that this is about me, or any particular person. This is about a reality that there is an instance that some couples get twitchy at times because of an ‘itch to scratch’. But it is not fair to single out men as the only ones who are guilty. Women can fall into such kind of trap also because of the many factors. Once again, I am not throwing people off because of this post.

Seven-year itch, actually, is a superstition, that says “A couple gets romantically restless after seven years of marriage.” While Encarta Dictionary (2004) has an informal meaning that it is an inclination toward sexual infidelity, popularly believed to begin after seven years of marriage. For me, since it is a superstition, then it is irrational. I could agree that seven-year itch could be synonymous (or more of a symbolism) to inclination toward sexual infidelity after several years of marriage.

The question “Why?” often accompanies certain circumstances that require reason, purpose or the cause. So, there will be a question to ask here – “Why would a married man or woman be motivated to sexual infidelity?” There are a LOT of reasons, purposes, or causes. But after asking the ‘why’ we must ask ‘what’. What would be best to avoid, and to stop the itch?

Couples consist of two different people linked by what is common to them. There are similar things that they both wanted to do. But there are also things that they do not agree with. Once these things are given more attention, one of them would attempt to find them from another individual that suits their fancies. Couples should realize the fact that there are a number reasons why they are together, and why they do get attracted to another. If selfishness gets in the way, one would surely go astray. If differences prevailed more than what was initially agreed to be a couple, then they should try to settle things first. I think it is not reasonable to hurl your partner’s lack on his/her face once you get involved with another. Settle things, then if it cannot be avoided or remedied, part peacefully, but do not indulge yourself with the sweetness of sexual infidelity while still in the relationship.

Experts say that a persistent itch may be a symptom of some systemic disease, such as a liver disorder. Likewise, tendency to give in to a seven-year itch could be a symptom of a deeper problem – like a wanting for self-worth, or a lack of self-realization. Just a hunch.