Dead Beat

The small shanty, voiceless and maybe deaf, is the only witness to her tears. How long had she been crying silently? An hour? Thirty minutes? She doesn’t know. She will not know. Her mind had soared to the days where there is superfluity of good things.

A timid knock is heard from the door. It was Amelia, her eldest daughter, the once reigning little princess in her elementary grades, now a young grown-up, who had chosen to marry at a young age than pursue schooling in college. Beaten by the situation, Amelia chose to marry to escape the grueling situation only to find out that it is not far better than before.

Amelia barely nodded to greet, and forced a wry smile towards Roquesa, her mother, who sits across the room, two legs bent while arms around them seemed to have imprisoned the two legs. Roquesa rocks to and fro in a slow motion.

“I have only five pesos to buy you kerosene for your stove. That’s all I can give. Luis did not make it last night. Very few customers,” Amelia walked towards a makeshift table by the corner, and proceeded, “Perhaps Nilo will drop by to bring you rice to cook. Here is a can of sardines. This will do, and don’t expect me to buy egg to make omelet. That is also four pesos, I could save it for the baby’s milk.”

After Amelia left, Roquesa stared at the can of sardines. How could she have her fill of food? She feels too weak to get up and get the knife to open the can. If only Nilo would be a little earlier, the sharp pain of hunger will not insist. But she has to move to get the knife.

Feebly, she inched her way to the table and roamed her eyes to where the knife is. It was among the spoons and forks on a plate. It seems shinier than anything on the plate. It was trying to get her attention, and it seems she hears the glistening knife talk, “Now, silly, come on and move your feet. Come and get me. USE ME!”

“Flashes of light. Why are there flashes of light? That is little Amelia! Look how she walks with her new clothes!”

“My darling, don’t leave me! Please, tell that woman I need you, we need you! I will do everything! I will not cross you! I will do whatever you say!”

“Nilo, my little baby…”

Nilo pushed open the ratty door. Horrified by the figure lying on the floor, drenched with blood, knife still stuck on the stomach, he run to his mother who at the moment was panting for breath. “Why did you do this? I told you I will come, Mother.”

“Nilo, my little baby…” Roquesa smiled (at last) lovingly at Nilo. The panting stopped.