That Sad Look in Her Eyes

It’s been almost two weeks since my mother in-law was hospitalized. Nanay underwent blood transfusion. Her hemoglobin content dropped off so she was given blood transfusion. She needed four bags to conquer that life-threatening situation. With God’s mercy, she was able to recover in a week’s time. Little by little, her color returned.

Though she can already move slowly, she still wheezes going to the comfort room. Little movements make her pant, even when coming out of the bed. Aside from these observations, she easily forgets. She looses focus and cannot enjoy simple conversations. She had lost her sense of humor, too, and mostly appears gloomy. She seems to get irritable with small matters, and seldom smiles. She demands attention and wishes for the presence of particular persons which seemed to have forgotten to pay her a visit.

Senility is tagging along. It is really heart-breaking to see a once-active woman being slowly eaten away with aging. It is frightening, too, that we will all pass across this stage (except maybe for those whose contract will be terminated earlier). It is a sad thought to feel you are left isolated when once you toiled for others, or helped a lot in small and big ways. Where have they all gone?

I try most of the time to bring her into conversations. I know and feel that she wanted the others to be there and be the ones in my place. I should feel touchy but I could not help feeling anything but pity. I feel she wants them to visit and talk to her endlessly. It really makes her very sad to wait for the others that she wishes to come and visit.

Thanks to her favorite grand daughter who volunteered to sleep with her in her room. She hadn’t failed her Lola who did not fail her also when she was still studying and in dire need of money and support for her schooling. I know her presence is doing a lot to conceal the loneliness.