This was previously posted on April 26, 2007. But my hosted Warmstone site was lost because the person I was in contact with about the hosting suddenly disappeared. He just left everybody hanging without formally telling us what happened. But life has to go on and I have to move on even if it meant loosing all the files from late 2006 to early 2009. But I digress.
Anyway, you might be wondering why I chose to cite this old post for a Father's Day celebration. These facts and realities are all part of my life with Papsie (my husband). Death, for example, is such a cruel reality that Papsie has been telling me to make preparations of. What he means simply is, I have to be ready, he has to be ready, when that sinister emissary of death comes. Easy said than done. But this is not a matter of choice but of acceptance though I always have this fear inside me. I just don't feel confident being without him in this world.
That is a sad thought for this celebration, eh? I just realized how important my husband is to me; that Papsie is right telling me that when I get angry or pissed off with him, I have to count the good times and the bad times. That would definitely wash away all my anger. And true, life with Papsie is more laughter than tears. Nobody can equal that with the many riches in this world like how a pleasant natural sleep cannot be bought by zillions of money.
Over the week, I had been contemplating on some of life’s facts and realities:
Death
With a number of relatives dying (there is a total of 5 deaths this week), I cannot help but think once again about death, which I have written before. Life is indeed transitory. We only live once, we only die once. I don’t know about other people but I don’t think we can be ‘repeaters’ just like in college where we enroll for the subject again to make up for the failures. This leads me to watch over my mouth and my actions and filter my thoughts. While others wanted a ‘free’ life, I choose to live life according to what is right, and Godly. Difficult, eh? But there is nothing easy trying to achieve something.
Friends
Friends come and go. It may hurt to feel that those you consider as friends do not reciprocate the friendship you offer. The feeling that I am taken for granted is always a big lump in my throat. Probably they have reasons like my reasons when I suddenly detach myself from a relation. And probably they have reasons not like my reasons. I don’t care anymore. This, too, will pass.
Family
Is it fair to judge a person because of the kind of family he or she has? Often times, people has this tendency to utter words like “Di ba kamag-anak mo ‘yan?” (Isn’t he or she your relative?) It is giving me the impression that good or bad, that person (who is a relative) is a mirror image of a particular person. I say it is not fair. Every person has his unique persona and it will not be reasonable to say he is this and that because his relative is this and that.
Fear
I fear the time that I will be without Papsie.
Poverty, Poor People, the Government
We went to a funeral at Malabon and passed by a squatter’s area which is worse than any squatter’s area I have seen. Going home, we passed by another squatter’s area, and I don’t know if it’s connected with the first we saw. The picture was overwhelming in the sense that it could make anybody squirm with mixtures of pity, horror, and anger. The area teeming with people in squalor is not an easy picture to look at. What is the government doing about this? Have they not seen these places? Surely the boob tube has been feeding them bits of this squalor every now and then, but what have they done? How can they sleep with comfort, and feed their mouths with food galore? How can they live a life with their constituents, who had seated them, in moral degradation?
Friend C* sent me a funny, funny SMS with this note:
... sa mga kapwa ko mabait, maganda, masipag, matalino at halos walang kapintasang mga misis, pakibati na lang ang mga masuswerteng lalaki na nakajackpot sa atin ng HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!
Di naman conceited, 'no?
I do reflect on those matters too — whenever I can and also to see what mistakes I’ve made so that I could change and be a better man.
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4/27/07
ReplyDeleteThis is a nice post. It is nice to reflect at the events the end of the day…. because… we all get a lot of answers to our questions while we do… and we get to see… what caused this and that. :
4/28/07
ReplyDeleteThe reality is even the sight of those squatters is still better than the folks in Darfur and famine stricken areas of Africa where people just die of hunger sitting on the road. It does make you feel lucky that you aren’t in their predicament but it makes you sad that people have to go through such suffer ing:(
4/28/07
ReplyDeleteIt’s what I do when I am alone often near midnight, puffing away cigarretes after cigarrettes pondering if ever I have been such a failure or one who has serve my family well. i would deeply ponder on what I’d be years from now, if I grow old this way and that way; how would my kids see me.
And of course, in the end, t’is only one thing that I deeply wished for and that is peace of mind and stability and happiness of my family. This I always pray every time.
4/28/07
ReplyDeleteDeath - Well, we will all have to meet the grim reaper sometime in the future. I just hope it’ll be painless.. and quick.
Friends - They come and go. But lucky are those that have friends who’ll be there when you need them.
Family - They can either be a refuge, or a burden.
Fear - We do need a healthy dose of it sometimes, to keep us from doing stupid things like jumping off a bridge, riding a motorcycle at high speed, drivinf recklessly, etc.. It sort of act as our emergency brake….
Poverty, poor people and government - What can say? They’re a part of life in these islands from the Spanish times up to the present. And will be still until drastic measures are taken…
Have a great weekend, Bing.
4/28/07
ReplyDeletealthough we all know that we will all eventually die - the thought of death is still terrifying.
life is a constant change. jose mari chan truly captured through his lyrics the truth about moving on.
4/29/07
ReplyDeleteI’ve also had friends come and go. I guess I just believe that if they’re true friends, they would be with me through thick and thin. So I suppose the friends who go, well, I guess they’re not true friends, but just nice people who have passed through my life. It was nice meeting them. :D
4/29/07
ReplyDeleteReading this entry reminded me that every now and then, it is good to find a moment for personal reflection, contemplation and prayer. These are good points to ponder on-Deaths, Friendships, Family, Fears, Poverty & Government. We are just mere mortals and unfortunately don’t have superpowers to control things and veer them to a direction that we want them to go. Wouldn’t it be a perfect world if Friends stay forever, there’s no poverty, people in the government would put people & service before self? We may beat ourselves senseless, but we still wont’ get the answers. But the best we can do,is do our part in making this world a better and friendlier place and so when it’s time for us to go, our life would have counted and made a difference.
4/29/07
ReplyDeleteSometimes I still feel grateful I can eat 3x a day or more. I have a roof on my head. That my children are with me and doing fine. That my family, however unique is still trying to reach out to everyone. That I was loved and able to love in return. That I am still alive. That I have a handful of true friends which is better than dozens of nodding acquaintances.
I am thankful for this post for reminding me that I have to count my blessings great and small.
A blessed Sunday to you & your family bing. :)
4/29/07
ReplyDeleteWow! Five deaths in one week. That must be overwhelming. And sorry to hear about your loses, bing.
Although i know that death is inevitable, I also fear it. I just hope that I live long enough to see all my children grow and have families of their own.
On friends, I’ve also seen a lot of them go when I was young because we moved a lot. Now, I also get hurt when I feel that I am taken for granted.
5/1/07
ReplyDelete“death, friends, family, fear, poverty” those topics are actually a lot less painful to talk about. Just try talking about the kind of politicos running for the May 14 elections and you will surely be depressed.
depressed. I think I just made the understatement of the year.
5/1/07
ReplyDeleteON DEATH: Life is indeed fleeting. Death is inevitable. You’re right — we only live once so we better live a life based on God’s righteousness. (Five deaths in a week’s time is a bit too much.)
ON FRIENDS: People come and go. There are friends for life, and there are friends only for a season. I think there’s wisdom in choosing the right friends. (Like you, I don’t like to be taken for granted. Who does?)
ON FAMILY: We cannot choose our family. And sometimes it’s not nice when people do associations and judge us according to what your family/relatives do or do not do. It is indeed not fair.
ON FEAR: Sometimes, I fear losing my husband, too. But it comforts me to know that he’s a Christian and will have a better life when he is gone. Sad to think about it, though.
ON POOR PINOYS: It’s saddening, isn’t it? I think the Philippines is not a poor nation per se, but corrupt government officials pocket the people’s money. Surely, more can be done for the poor. Public edcucation, for instance, is very important for upward social mobility, but it seems to be the least funded project of the government.
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Hi, Bing. Hope you and your family are ok after so many deaths in your family.
death = celebration of new life hopefully in heaven.
ReplyDeletefamily= you can’t choose your family.
friends= you can choose your friends.
fear= can be overcome.
goverment and poverty= where is robin hood when you need him?
have a nice day!
dp
5/18/07
ReplyDeletedeaths - be not not afraid to die.. just make sure that you die after serving your purpose.
family - your last resort no matter what.
friends - well they really come and go but God will always provide you those true friends who’ll stand beside you through thick and thin.. and you gotta learn how to value them.
fear - is something that we all have and is something that we have to roll by and accept as a part of this life.. having fears is being human and overshadowing them makes us more human.
government and poverty - we really have to voice out and do our part even in small instances.. poverty will be impossible to totally eliminate but can be controlled.. don’t whine about how unfair your life is nor complain about how come you don’t have things that other people have.. “nakaka-irita yung mga taong nag-iiwan ng food sa restaurants.. hello? milyon ang nagugutom sa Pilipinas tapos eto ka’t nag-iinarte at nag-aaksaya ng pagkain?”
i really liked this post bingskee.. mind if we exchange links?
have a good day! (^^,)
It may hurt to feel that those you consider as friends do not reciprocate the friendship you offer. >>> well that's when the friendship becomes conditional. in my case, ill always treat them as my friends no matter how they feel about me.
ReplyDeletehi, dong. you remind me of a friend who cherishes every friend she has though she is not reciprocated for her goodness.
ReplyDelete