First Times

First times always bring the excitement, feelings of awe, or delight. On some circumstances, it brings shock, pain, or a frantic feeling, depending on what an event generates, or what the event or situation is.

I was amazed to see a television for the first time in the middle of the space in front of the wide stairs to the second floor of our elementary school. Coming from a poor family, I was not aware of that "little box" where you can see little people talking. Upon seeing the little people, I became glued to the television set (the name of which I learned later from a teacher) and stand there for minutes to listen to the exchange of words. I excitedly related it to my parents when I came home.

Such awe was replaced by the much other awe brought about by the scantiness of our life. Then a weird feeling got me restless when I reached fifth grade. It was the feeling when a good looking, dark skinned sixth grader asked to join our game of habulan. It was the first time I felt a warm rush inside me and it felt like something inside would explode each time he joined the game. I was in high school when I learned that the feeling was called "crush" on somebody. I had many crushes after that.

The hours and circumstances of my first times created significance in my life. The time I first received medals in high school, the time I first received a trophy in a national competition, the first time I got a group of true friends, the first time Papa got very ill and could not afford to work, the first time I fell in love, the time I first laid my eyes on my own flesh and blood – all these created me. What I am now was brought significantly by these first times.

First times are almost equal to the feeling of uncertainty – you don’t know what to do. In retrospect, I value them so much. They are not entirely happy events. They also include those that brought me pain, tears, or hatred. But they all made me for what I am today.

When was the last time you had your first time?