When my kids were younger, I would always tell them "Sweetheart, do not stare." I do not know if this is a common admonition that everybody makes. But I felt I had to tell them that when they stare at people. I was apprehensive that some people will be offended. Most of the time, it was Kay who loved to stare at people, and I mean, really stare with her arched brows, especially when she didn’t like what she saw.
For the grown-ups, we would stare when we are attracted. This is very true to men, particularly. Unmindful, or at times uncaring, of what women will think, they would stare when drawn to physically attractive women. There might be other reasons why they stare, but most of the time it is because of the pull.
For me, as a woman perhaps, it is embarrassing to stare. I may have glared at somebody but that is an unconscious action as opposed to men’s glaring done to win a female’s attention. Most often, I would stare surreptitiously and change my eye direction when an attractive guy will look my way. Silly, but maybe it’s just me.
Staring at people to indirectly criticize them is not also acceptable. There are people who react through their stares when somebody’s physical features did not pass their taste, or something is not right about how one particular person should look. It was like they were given the right to do that (because they believe they are better looking?). That is so disgusting or even insulting.
The eye sparkles when it approves what they behold but withhold the spark when they disapprove what they see. Similarly, the other parts of the body react this way.
b. Do You Have a Favorite Song?
Music is like remedy to the ailing soul. And until the day my hair turns grey, music will always play an important part in my life. Baby Pink tagged me and made me hum some of the songs I like. Below are the links to the seven songs I dedicated myself on my 40th birthday. Wait, she wants me to FORCE seven people to do this! Roll call – BW, MALAYA, ROLLY (MYEPINOY), BLUEGREEN, GORYO4U, FLEXJ, and KADYO.
staring is impolite whether you're male or female. i hate it when strangers stare at me. to piss them off, i stare back harder and longer. that usually makes them realize how uncomfortable it is to be stared at.
ReplyDeletethere's a thin line between flirting with one's eyes and staring rudely. i only flirt with my eyes when i know that the girl is equally ok with it. if i see that "sparkle" in her eyes, i'd continue staring, and perhaps bring it to another level. but most of the time, like you, i just glance discretely and let my eyes linger for a fleeting moment. and that moment usually speaks volumes.
how do you discern the sparkle, slim whale? para yatang mahirap yun, a he he hmmm rewind ko nga nung tinititigan ako ni Papsie... malagkit tumitig yun, e.. dahil ba he saw something in my eyes he he?
ReplyDeleteI find myself unconsciously staring at attractive people - at girls when I'm admiring the outfits they're wearing and wondering if I can achieve the same look; at guys when they're exceptionally hot.
ReplyDeleteI try not to be obvious, though - because after all, it IS rude to stare!
- rei :)
a. it is very wrong to stare. in california, a filipino male can get shot and killed for staring at other filipino males. it is considered a form of aggression. i have noticed that filipinos in the philippines have a tendency to stare. it used to bother me when i was younger, but now i realize that harm is not usually intended, and that people do it unintentionally because they just want to look at something that might be considered unusual.
ReplyDeleteb. lately, i've been listening to some madonna songs, such as: take a bow, american pie, sanctuary, along with the usual jazzy songs.
how are you bing?
Generally I think it is impolite to stare at someone you don't know except kung artista sya.
ReplyDeleteIn the country where i work, if you stare at them then you are inviting trouble.
siguro kung mahal mo, anak mo or the person is close to you, okey lang na mag-stare.
hi, rei (of synesthetique?)! i also find myself staring unconsciously sometimes, too. but that is different from deliberately staring. it is normal that attractive people gets our attention but to make them uncomfortable because of our stare is another story...
ReplyDeletehi, milkphish! i am fine... thanks for asking. i hope you are in the best of everything, too...
ReplyDeletethat's worrisome - people kill because of stares?
i agree that sometimes people do it unintentionally but others really deliberately stare to annoy or criticize.
oh, i forgot to mention, milkphish. i love jazz, too, and that song of madonna - take a bow.
ReplyDelete@ rolly - really impolite... but i guess there'll be people who will always do that - stare though it is annoying.
i love to people watch and i have this tendency to stare. it has become a habit and i know it is bad. so when the subject of my admiration/curiosity looks my way, i quickly glance away. but i NEVER do this with physically-challenged people. it's really rude. i'm trying to unlearn staring though. hehe.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, unknowingly, we stare at people maybe because something has caught our attention or curiosity or simply because we are bored and have nothing to do. I for one don't want people staring at me hehehe so I don't admonish staring. Tingin ko offensive pag complete stranger and you find that person staring at you. You begin to think baka may dumi ka sa mukha or you have done something despicable hehehe...And when I do catch someone staring at me, the best way to ward it off is to give them a dose of their own medicine. Most of the time they would look away uncomfortable or even embarassed.
ReplyDeleteFavorite song naman...hmmm...madami and mostly Jim Brickman songs like "Love of My Life", "The Love I Found in You" at "By Heart"
Others: "True Colors" at "Time After Time" ni Cyndi Lauper, "Crazy for You" ni Madonna..(heheh halatang 80's child) Shania Twain's "You Got a Way" of course
By the way, low tech ang PC ko so I can't attach my own recorded versions hehehe...but I would gladly sing it to you if I get the chance..let's choose a perfectly sunny day though hehehe
ReplyDeletereally, nico?? particularly sa girls or women he he?? in my observation, men love to stare most of the time at physically attractive women. they just couldnt help it he he good to know you never do that with physically challenged people. i have a short story to tell - one time when we (Papsie and I) were walking, we met along the way two women who really stared at Papsie. nakalingon pa rin kahit lumampas na and Papsie was looking at them, too. it was like they'd never seen someone like him (Papsie) walking in limps. Papsie grinned and told them, "O, tama na, baka madapa ka." When we were just newly weds, and i was slimmer (he he), we also met along the way a man who looked at both of us, he would change his glare from Papsie to me, then from me to Papsie, then stare at me longer. I could never forget Papsie's lines, "O, tama na, baka maubos, me may-ari na." ha ha that was unforgettable!
ReplyDeletehi, bluegreen, nice choice of songs. it is not a requirement naman to record them he he just a list would do. i opted to recall those songs na lang kasi meron na before but the tag was really about listing them down.
ReplyDeletejust this morning, i was irked how one co-employee stared at me. i know there's something about that stare. what i did is to stare back, with one arched brow. and you know what, he spoke in a soft voice then he smiled, "ang ganda naman ni Bing." i was really pissed off because i have this feeling that the stare is not really about what he said. i still stared not saying anything, making him uncomfortable and leave afterwards without a word. that's right - give them a dose of their own medicine.
i couldn't agree more! staring is something you really would not want to do...it's really impolite!...as opposed to "glancing" which i often find myself do when i see beautiful women...i sort of flirting with my eyes...hehehe...malay mo, baka kumagat, di another one bites the dust...hehehe...
ReplyDeletei know naman na di makakatiis si mr pogi kahit kapirasong sulyap lang.. he he malay mo nga naman.
ReplyDeletethat's a different thing - with kids, sometimes, kailangang daanin sa tingin, mas emphatic yun, e.
ReplyDeletei remember many many years ago, when my eldest son was around 4-5 years old, we were riding a passenger jeepney when i noticed that he was staring at this girl's legs... but that was because she had red leotards on, maybe she'd just come out of gym class or something. i whispered in his ear telling him to stop staring and he did, but he couldn't help himself, i guess red legs looked pretty strange to a 4-year old ... :)
ReplyDeletealthough i, myself, can't help but stare at some people at times, i think that staring is a bit impolite. it feels weird to be stared at, 'di ba? kaya i try not to stare talaga.:)
ReplyDeletesalamat sa tag =) just finished mine & post it already hehe.
ReplyDeleteHave a nice day ahead.
hi, bambit!
ReplyDeletekids! they are the ones who love to do that. cant blame them - new things to behold, new to adore, or hate!
yea, baby pink, it feels good to think that somebody maybe looking at you because you look nice but sometimes the eyes speak what a person thinks of you...
ReplyDeletetalaga lang, slim whale, ha.. i think sparkles are for strangers na lang, ha ha but i maybe wrong
ReplyDelete@ kadyo - gotcha! nanggaling na ako, thanks ha!
ReplyDelete@ major tom - i know of an incident na nagkasakitan dahil lang sa tingin. flattering din naman yung ibang tingin.
I used to t hink that staring was illegal and you could go to jail here in the US. Haha! But then, I get that all the time when I go outside with hubby and these from old couples. Doesn't bother me though, I just think to myself they are ignorant not me. (unless may dumi pala ako sa mukha kaya sila nakatingin, hehe).
ReplyDeletejust to pitch in my thoughts...yup, i believe that staring is impolite, too. i just get irritated when people stare at me for minutes and minutes to no end. problema ko lang, di naman din ako kasing-'bastos' para mag-stare back, hehe :D i just let it pass.
ReplyDeleteI don't like being stared at... but there were times when i did not feel bad naman when i noticed someone staring that i actually winked (actually hindi wink..ipipikit yung mata non eh.. yung tinataas-baba ba yung dalawang kilay tapos ngingiti)and the other person would look down feeling embarassed.
ReplyDeleteMeron din time na ako naman ang nagstare sa tao na nakasakay sa bus... i was drawn and i was looking at him even when the bus moved... yun pala nasa gitna ako ng kalsada... yikes buti na lang di ako nabundol...
siguro minsan uncontrollable yung stare siempre if you notice hinto ka... yung reaction mo din siguro depende kung may feel ka na di maganda sa stare...
I think it's rude to stare, especially if strangers are involved.
ReplyDeleteI don't feel comfortable when others stare at me. Stares make me feel like I'm an oddball or something.
So, I remember the Golden Rule and choose not to stare at people under normal circumstances.
Amongst Pinoy males, a long stare can spark a conflict , baka kinukursunada raw yung isa so he will take offence for it. Between females naman, sign of admiration kuno , something like – I wish I have that hair or ang ganda ng kutis niya – ano kaya ang ginagamit niya? From male to female naman, a long stare can be considered ogling, somewhat an overflow of testosterone, interpreted as a man taking sexual pleasure with the extra long stare. From female to male naman, a long stare is flattering to the male because it has no reason to happen, except if the girl really digs you!
ReplyDeletehi, sunshine pinay!
ReplyDeleteah... the imaginary comments of the old people ha ha tama ka, sometimes, dapat wag na lang pansinin. lalo na kung mga old people, parang mga bata din minsan ang ilan... mahilig tumitig!
hi, miss anonymous!!
ReplyDeletethanks for dropping by and sharing your experiences... i agree, the intention reflects on how a person thinks when he stares, and how the recipient will react.
hi, jayred, i like it - consider it a Golden Rule not to stare haha
ReplyDeleteLalake tumititig sa kapwa lalake? Di kaya tumitibok ang puso ni bakling!
ReplyDelete