The Big Enchilada*

I am into a craze. You may call it blogging bugs. Aren't you into it, too?

Lest I'd be haunted with the anino ni abaniko, I try to bloghop more often than not, equipped with some notes from the peanut gallery, with a glimpse of the steadfast x-pat files, and sometimes with a thought of carrying it out with bonete y cafe. Coffee is one addiction that I cannot do without, you know. But I am not the coffee goddess.

Staring at the bughaw skies, or at the cream-colored or tinged-with- gray ceiling, or simply working under the canopy, with a slip of the pen, I write. Starting with Dear Sage... oops... I forgot, I am not writing a letter for Sage. I am trying to create a scenario out of simple thoughts.

Sometimes I find myself wondering what goes inside the mind of a single guy. How many times was he faced with the crimson crux of deciding to stay single forever? (Just asking, not prying  :-D ) It must be enjoyable whirling alone like a fish in a bowl, or as Gibbs Cadiz hinted, is it a boring life? Maybe he was pleased and stuck on the dictum cogito ergo sam, or was it cogito cogito ergo cogito sum.

I ponder mga turo ni tito rolly, or mga kuro-kuro ni ka uro, and tiyo delyo's kalambogesiyons at iba pa and ended mixed up! :-D Seriously, these guys give you the comfort of home sweet home in its real sense. A visit to their place is like solace from a journey to Honeyville, like a warm reception from the balay ni Bambit, and also like the sundry atmosphere at ménage à Kat.

Punzi's corner is one corner I visit when I need to educate myself with law-related things. And when my eyes ache from the letters, phrases and quotation marks, i feast my eyes with the goodies at Sidney's sari-sari store. You want to feel makabayan? Go visit My EPinoy's blog. You want to go gaga about kikay effects? Then read Gigi as she goes gaga about beauty tips with side dishes of quirky inspirations. I wonder if she had written about the G spot (*smirk). The J spot is altogether a different thing, of course.

When the citizen on Mars defends divergent poles in the parallel universe of politics, he makes you feel you are not in the warped zone of the political arena. How can he be so updated and interested of world events and issues I chose to elude? Well, every one to his taste. Take for example, how Artkitekto indulges himself with the football league championship, or the Filipino librarian with the newest technology in library science, or the special education teacher in Washington DC also with her newest teaching and technology discoveries. Need more? Everybody knows how pinayexpat in Deutschland, and some others make it big by problogging. But by jove! I love to be a sunshine pinay, too!

And I say to someone... wish you were here. Wish it was like yesterday.

Why Can't They Be Happy for Others?

Recently there were people who were promoted and were given a raise. One of those promoted became controversial because of a joke that she was given a big amount which was bought by a listener and had spread like fire. It was learned that somebody even reacted unlikely to the news. The promotion was not yet official because management had not circulated a memorandum yet.

I can just imagine how these aspirants create a stir among a group of disgruntled employees. It was proven afterwards by the tales of some others that some of them have negative reactions. It's to be expected because these people will do anything to make that person look as if undeserving.

And speaking of people who can't be happy for others, there must be reasons. Here is an account about two mothers, one is a gratified mother, and the other is a mortified one:

The gratified mother announced to a friend that her daughter is a possible candidate as university scholar. It happened that the mortified mother was there, silent but was all ears to the news. The gratified mother spoke naturally with no intentions of bragging. She told her friend that her daughter even got a flat 1.0 in one of her subjects. Her friend was so excited to hear the news (as is expected from friends). The mortified mother was silent, not saying a word. When the gratified mother left, the mortified one exclaimed, "That is a very easy subject!"

This mortified mother received weeks ago her daughter's report card and the results were bad. Her son purportedly skipped classes for obvious reasons. Her husband left her for another.

I think it is not necessary anymore to explain why the upset mother suddenly blurted out her bitterness. Though we all naturally experience envy, welcoming it with arms wide open surely will be the start of all those negative feelings towards others. Why not join the fun? Why not congratulate a winner or somebody who got promoted or somebody who had received good news? After all, to be happy for others will surely invite good vibes. It will even make your heart healthy and will give you a peaceful life.

Innocence, Nudity and Sex

Why do we, as parents, tell the kids to close their eyes, or even tell them to go upstairs or go to their room when there is a kissing scene or a love scene on the television? I bet most parents were faced with a situation where they switch to a channel and there was a love or kissing scene, and there... was the little boy or girl with mouth agape trying to sink in what was happening to the two smooching fellas on teevee. Or the scene could be that they suddenly appeared and the parents had no time anymore to switch to another channel so that they will not see the love or the kissing scene, but they did see!

-----

When my son was twelve or maybe younger (I couldn’t exactly recall), I was watching a rated R movie on cable TV downstairs and the leading lady was making love to one of the characters (minus the breast and ‘down under’ exposure). She was like humping and perspiring. Being so engrossed with the movie, I did not notice that my son was already up from his afternoon nap upstairs. He let out a question, “Why is she perspiring?” To my shock I was not able to find the right words to say but managed to reply, “They are making love.” “But why is she perspiring?” came the question again. I switched to another channel and said, “You will come to know that when you cross the bridge (or something to that effect).” He went silently to the dining room and I was left wondering what was going on in his mind.

I actually doubted if I said the right thing but I realized that we parents sometimes overdo things in order to protect our children. Kids just need simple answers. I could have told him, “She is perspiring because of the activity.” Or “Maybe it is ‘hot’.” :-) That could be more comprehensible.

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An officemate once related a story about his nine-year old daughter. His daughter took a bath and when she’s done, she ran from the bathroom naked attempting to cover her butt with her small hands. We were laughing trying to imagine how she looked like while running naked covering her butt with her hands. It was such innocence that she covered her butt instead of her more private part. I could not remember if my officemate succeeded explaining why she had to cover her ‘other’ part instead of her butt.

-----

One of the stories that had me laughing, too, is about a couple who shares the same room with their one-year-old daughter. They were in the middle of their act of lovemaking when suddenly the daughter woke up, eyes wide staring at them. It was too late to stop the activity because the husband was nearing climax. And while the daughter continued staring at them feeding herself with her bottled milk, and wife equally looking at the little girl whispering to her husband that the baby is wide awake, the husband did not stop to reach his goal. :-P

 

Christmas Tree and Gifts on October?

I had assembled the 6-ft Christmas tree 3^rd week of October. I had already wrapped some gifts a week earlier. Then some exclamations of ‘why so early’?

Why not? I don’t believe that I am the only one doing the early gift wrapping and setting up the Christmas tree. On my part, I do them early because I don’t have much time. If I think of having this time, for example, to wrap the gifts, I wrap them, because most probably it will be difficult for me to find time doing them with inspiration. I always do things with passion, even with choosing the gifts and wrapping them. Not that I spend extravagantly for gaudy gifts and wrappers but I do wrap them neatly and pile them in order under or beside the Christmas tree.

And the Christmas tree. It gives me this feeling of hope and joy. It reminds me of the coming season. But does everybody know that the tree was once a pagan symbol of fertility? It became a Christian symbol of rebirth, according to information, when Marthin Luther got so awed by the beauty of fir trees that he brought one from the forest and lighted it with candles to remind his children of God’s creation.

So when do you set up your Christmas tree? The gifts can come later. (Anyway, my name’s only a four-letter one; very easy to remember.)

 

Para la juventud (For the youth)

You seldom read her thoughts but this piece really touched me. It made me uneasy with guilt because there were times that I had doubted her and her attitude. Please do not pass by not reading this. How I wish a considerable number of the youth of this generation will spare time reading:

Para sa Kabataan

It is my deepest sorrow that my literary prowess can not influence you in some jaded way.

With words, I can get these sentiments across to you. With your understanding shall the message only be clear. For it is in us that a great hero¹ once regarded the future to. We are the youth who will weave tomorrow for the upcoming generations for we owe it to them. It is our benevolent duty to surpass what is expected, to unearth the lost foundations of Filipino humanity, to lead time to come.

I am happily studying in college and when I’m done with my 1^st degree, I’ll take up another. Never in my life have I had this drive to keep on learning, for the world offers so much and yet I have so little time. Back in high school, I couldn’t wait to get my sorry hide out of school and it never occurred to my young, stupid brain that I’m still going to study.

A lot of things changed my perception of my once-hated duty: to study. My school, my course (since my parents supported what I wanted to take up) and the people I found and lost are some factors that sculpted my stubborn brain to what it is right now. It just hit me like a rolling volleyball that all of these books, words and equations are all helping hands in blue-printing my future.

YOU. Yes, you. Has it never occurred to you that you can’t forever hang on your parents’ wallets and credit cards? That you can’t be a burden to them who disregarded their needs and desires just to get you the latest, full-scale camera-cell phone? Let’s face it; we don’t pay for anything (that is if you have some sort of job, then I’m wrong). Technically, literally, our parents pay everything since the day we escaped from our mothers’ wombs ‘til we don’t get cold-cash-paying jobs.

All you need to do is to open your books, read and absorb what you think is non-sense right now. For heaven’s sake, STUDY! If you want to be a garbage man, then don’t. At least that pays. But with your fast-living lifestyle, overspending brigade, minimum wage ain’t enough for urban living.

GIMIK. GIMIK. GIMIK. Hey, there’s more to life than hanging out with your friends, shopping for some over-priced signature items, jamming endlessly for hours and hours and drinking SanMig or whatever beer brand there is. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t do this or that. You just have to know your priorities. If you’ve got your primary obligations set, then go gimik-gaga.

If rebelliousness is a form of laxative², then feel free to rebel. If you think that you’re gearing away from something normal and that you’re setting a trend, don’t you also think that you’re just copying some old-school renegade teen wearing black band shirts? Then you go around, pretending your some kind of rocker, coloring your nails black, ‘making a statement’. Why? Mostly people protest when their needs and desires aren’t met. Eh ikaw? What have your parents not given to you? Haven’t they provided everything basic and added whatever luxury we don’t need to survive? Plus, they gifted you with education – something that could not be stolen even if your brain were to be removed and dissected.

If this bores and makes you irritated, then it is my conclusion that this is the truth. It wouldn’t hurt to straighten up your ways. If you’re already on that path of being ‘good’, then hey! Saludo ako sa’yo. My gosh, this is very choppy.

¹ Jose Rizal

² drug used to promote bowel movement

 

- written by daughter Kay

When a Person Refuses to Listen

Always there will be people who do not know how to listen. And what makes it worse; they are those older than you or those with authority over you. A simple thing becomes a problem. And the more you talk, the more they become bigger and complicated when all you want is to solve the predicament.

Then you wonder how the hell they ended up with the job responsibilities and position they presently have if they do not know how to deal with a simple problem. The hollowness of their brains knocks you down, off, out and over.

You decide to tone down your voice because they will not understand it. They will read it as INSUBORDINATION when all you want was plain resolution. Confrontations become misleading to them. They will look at you like one with a CONCEITED plaster on the forehead. You wanted to shout at them, “WAKE UP! Your brain is not functioning.” But you choose not to, because it will spoil your day. They will not understand anyway. Hello, it will be like an endless cycle without having to resolve what needs to be resolved.

Are you listening? Thank you.

Nexus: Kung Ikaw ang May-ari...

What Beautiful Creatures!

We went to one of these birthday celebrations. We were guided by the owner of the house to what he calls ‘garden’. In the middle of the ‘garden’, there stood a shack made of bamboo and worn planks of wood. The seats and table were made of wooden planks, too, nailed and put together to form to what they were intended to be. The ambiance was of nature. We were surrounded by plants; on one side were two groups of Milenyo-stricken bamboos which leaves meet at one point. It was such a lovely sight. All around were plants, most of them edible. I saw a duck having its water fill from a very small man-made pond, and white chickens and red crowned roosters, too.

When darkness slowly flooded the skies and the surroundings, we saw a beautiful creature shining among the bamboo plants. It was a firefly. It was such an exhilarating feeling to see that it was not alone. There were two of them alternately showing off their luminous bodies. Then as if one of them heard how we were awed by their presence, one of them flew towards me. I enveloped it with my hands. It stayed. It was awesome seeing it that way blinking its way on my palms. God truly made a wonderful world to live in.

Looks Can Be Deceiving

Kay was early to school last Friday. I didn't see her leave that morning. Then while I was at the canteen, I received a message:

Ma, may nambastos skin. Wala namang ngyari skin. Nakuha ko ung plate number. Nireklamo na namin sa pulis.

Though there was those assuring words "Wala namang ngyari skin. (meaning Wala namang nangyari sa akin.) ", I was panic-stricken. I called her up immediately.

It turned out that there was a car parked near Fine Arts Building. The man in the car asked her where Palma Hall is. Kay obligingly answered tne thirthish looking man (He was doing something inside the car in which Kay was unmindful of but noticed that there was an activity. She vaguely remembered that the man was like removing his belt.) After a while she sensed that the man wanted to bring her to her destination which she politely declined because the FA building was nearby. When she was about to leave, the 'decent' looking man stopped her and told her, "Sandali, tingnan mo 'to." To her surprise, the man's fly was open!  She immediately left but jotted down the car's plate number. When the guard went to where the car is, it was nowhere to be found.

My daughter sounded ok when I talked to her. Thank God that sicko didn't go down from his car. It would be disadvantageous for her if that would be so. He could easily drag her inside the car if she got afraid or weakened with fright. She told me she did not think that the man will do such a thing because "mukha siyang matino", and added that "he has that good look in the face". As Papsie puts it, we can never be too trusting, looks can be deceiving.

I was so worried and angry at the same time I wanted to be like Jean Gray, or Storm. Or Darna. She also has that ability to fly fast to catch those contemptible a**holes, and give them lessons they wouldn't forget.

Do you believe in Friday the 13th? I am not a believer of this myth. But it sure was not a good day for the whole family, especially to Kay.

A Croc is Not a Crook

Got attracted to a message written at the back of a friend's t-shirt:

It is an insult to crocodiles when they are compared to unsavory characters like corrupt politicians, greedy businessmen and selfish athletes.

- Crocodile Farming Institute, Palawan

Satirical. But are the crocs better than the crooks? They are both cold-blooded. They are both predators.

This can be a reason:

Originally, the crooks were of the Homo Sapiens class, which are primates, but with a brain larger than any other. With a larger brain, they should function better, learn more quickly, or respond more appropriately to situations. To act like a lesser primate demean the Hominidae family, and the Crocodylidae family, which from their birth bore those innate characteristics of being predators, and being cold-blooded, too. And here you are, humans, trying to be one, without the need but with greed. You are surely insulting their family and class.

Body Fag is No Cure for Brain Fag

(HG Wells, When the Sleeper Wakes, p.7)

Mr. Isbister is probably right. No amount of laborious physical work could lessen mental fatigue. Even when you tire out your body, the mind keeps on spinning. Therefore, cease straining your physical strength. Let your mind flow but not the body. You cannot do two things at a time.

(Photo from here.)

Are you hungry for sleep but cannot get one? Sometimes that happens to me. There are times my mind is clogged with worries. When mental stress attacks I read until my mind becomes very tired. Or I watch boring television shows.

I noticed that the more I force myself to sleep, the more my thoughts prevail, the more I can’t sleep. That's when I learned there is no use fighting the very awake mind.

Now, spare some time and share your technique beating mental stress.

Snippets

I borrowed the title from one of the great and missed bloggers, AuroraBorealis, known as little teapot. These are actually, snippets of events.

The Howling

I had never experienced a howling gale. Last September 28, a few minutes after I had gone home (the company made sense finally letting us go home because of the typhoon), Milenyo was felt. Its winds angrily striked at any obstruction that came its way. What frightened me is the howling that sounded like a live creature ready to devour.

Incommunicado

Then almost the entire Metro Manila was incommunicado. No electricity, no signals from cell sites. Totally nothing to reach others. It was boring to stay at home without electricity really. Cooking was a diversion worth the time.

Sleep Talking

Somniloquy is the other word for it. What if your mate mentioned somebody's name? What will you do? You get tired waiting for your name to be mentioned but it wasn't mentioned. Then you suddenly heard this, "Miss, ang ganda mo, pwede ka ba makilala?" (Miss, you are so pretty, can i get your name?")

Rare to-do List

I do Things to Do List at work. I put ok after every accomplishment. Here is Kay's to-do list:

HOY KAY!

ika-27 ng Setyembre - Judo Interclass

ika-1 ng Oktubre - UAAP Judo Championship

ika-3 ng Oktubre - Deadline - final plate FA 10

Project ni Kuya Von

Farting is Sweet

The Art of Farting. Our family makes fun of it. It is gross, yes, but I think the way we treat this gross bodily function - the fun thing of bombarding the culprit with all sorts of teasing and jokes - binds our family. :-P How do you treat it?

Scary Skin and Beauty Products

Skin has many types. Some have skin types that can easily react to substances that come in contact with the skin. Reaction varies from itching to swelling of some parts or the entire body.

A friend went to work last Saturday and told me that she has allergy. Allergy to what, I asked her. I saw that her face was red and the part around the eyes looked puffy. The previous night she applied a recognized facial whitening cream, an effort to lessen the freckles that had increased and are becoming noticeable because of their color. The result was an itchy and inflamed face the morning after.

She went to work today and she looks worse. An appointment with clients forced her to go to work. She had to see a doctor yesterday because she woke up (after trying Iterax and Claritin) with a swollen face and eyes that were like slits already. The redness and itchiness were spreading to her throat. That sounded scary to me because she could have difficulty breathing if her larynx became swollen, too, because of the reaction. Her doctor gave her Celestamine and a medication to be applied externally on her face.

We all have to be extra careful applying elements on our face and body. My friend did not learn her lesson well when she had a bad experience with a facial product that has hydroquinone and melanin. Her facial skin is hypersensitive and should have tried first dabbing a small amount on her wrist to see if there will be a reaction. She should have tried also seeing an allergist to get an advice on what is best for her face.

I told my friend that she should have filed a complaint. These products must be banned because there was no warning or sufficient info for the consumers. She told me that it wouldn’t be necessary because her doctor told her that complaints were already filed before. It was even a topic of an exposé in television months ago. I wonder what happened to the complaints because these products are still being sold in the market.

In a Jiffy

This will be short. These past few days I don’t have the abundance of time. Now I leave some questions which you might want to indulge yourself with.

• Overheard a friend talking about an officemate who seem to think that her profession is better than my friend’s profession. Is there such a thing as the best profession? Personally, I don’t think there is such a thing as the only profession worth to be nominated as the best. Well, there maybe professions which are profitable in comparison to others. But isn’t it what is important is that one loves doing what he is doing, and that at least he has somebody to pay him for what he loves doing? So, is a chemical engineer superior to a chemist? Or is an artist inferior to a nurse?




• If a tree fell in the middle of the forest and no one was there to hear it , will it still make a sound? Will sound be sound still when you do not hear it? That is a question from my beloved daughter.




• An officemate loves to ‘play’. We are not on speaking terms anymore because I do not play her play. In short, I am not comfortable with her and her actuations, and I don’t think it is necessary to play goody-goody with each other. So, we don’t talk anymore but she ‘plays friends’ with me when hubby is around. Is that flirting? Or a deliberate attempt to annoy me? I just don’t see any reason for her to act like we are close as before. And what is funny even more is when hubby is not around she ignores me which I don’t mind at all. I am not at all threatened or insecure but goodness knows what she is doing! What might she be doing exactly?

Very Tired

Well, this is just one of those I hate. To feel too much makes me too tired.

‘You know how it feels to be like a balloon full of water ready to burst anytime? It feels like it is welling and these emotional susceptibilities are ready to break loose.

I am no superwoman and yet I desire to be one. Whew! Boy, I sound like an emotionalist.

Then Rejuvenated

(written the morning after)

I woke up late this morning. I did not have much sleep. What with the grunts coming from a drunk partner. I tried to close my eyes but I cannot have my ears closed. I wanted to let the situation be - him grunting and me ignoring. I ended up dabbing his face with a towel dipped in hot (err... warm) water. He pulled a face while I was doing it, probably there was some sense left. He could still grimace.

All throughout the night, he was grunting. I did not know what time, but probably it was way past midnight when I blanked over.

I woke up late from a soft kiss planted on my thigh (yes, on my thigh) and soft pats and a soft voice coming from someone trying to make amends. I listened. Then suddenly, as if recalling everything, I burst out (but not with the level of anger the night before) pretending to be angry still. He was laughing. Yes, he was laughing at me (and at everything I was telling him he did). Then he told me he's sorry and that he didn't know what he was doing (which is still a very big question to me - do drunk people really forget what had happened?). And as I have told, he was trying to make amends, to compensate from everything he (unknowingly?) did. Breakfast was ready with my favorite combination of tuyo, fried egg (with no salt) and fried rice. Really good coffee was also prepared.

After breakfast, Kay played her favorite Growing Old With You, by Adam Sandler. I told him to listen especially to the last stanza.

I wanna make you smile whenever youre sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you

Ill get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you

Ill miss you
Ill kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold

Ill need you
Ill feed you
Even let ya hold the remote control

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed if youve had too much to drink
I could be the (wo)man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you

For better or for worse...

The Best Gift

Once again, I would like to share an email from my friend Charry. Here it goes..

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts that they were able to give to their elderly mother.

The first said, "I built a big house for our mother."

The second said, " I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."

The third said, " I've got you both beat." You know how Mom enjoys the Bible and you know she can't see very well. I sent her a brown parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took twenty monks in a monastery 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years but it was worth it. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."

Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks.

She wrote to the first son, "Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."

She wrote to the second son, " Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home all the time, so I never used the Mercedes.....and the driver is SO rude.

She wrote to the third son, " Dearest Melvin, You were the only son to have the good sense to know what your mother likes. The chicken was delicious."

If you fell down laughing, then you probably enjoyed the story as much as I did. I will be sharing more of her and my other friends' funny emails.

And it's weekend again! Time flies so fast. Tomorrow it's Christmas once again.

Taboo?

Or it isn't?

As sequel to what I wrote in Sa Aming Wika, "Hayyy, Salamat sa Diyos!" I would like to reiterate that there is nothing wrong (socially, or culturally) when a woman conceives in her middle age. I had heard talks that it is shameful to be seen conceiving when a woman is already in her 40's or 50's.

Contrary to other people's belief, I do not see anything taboo when a woman conceives in her 40's or 50's, carrying the fruit of her love. If an unwed mother (no offense meant) can have her baby and can strut on the road unmindful of what everybody has to say, what more of a middle-aged legally married woman?

What must be the primary concern is the woman's health if she decides to go on conceiving even when she is already in her 40's or 50's. A woman should be at her best during pregnancy. It is important that each pregnancy be planned, that is, both husband and wife agreed to have the baby, and is physical, emotionally and financially prepared to have the little angel (again).

Some retrogade folks can sometimes influence a woman's decision on getting pregnant. Their primitive views dictates the taboo. Foolish talks and unfounded beliefs, therefore, of shame and taboo should not be entertained. A woman should consider her well-being and that is what is important.

But what a relief! :-)

Conceit

Vanity plays lurid tricks with our memory.
- J. Conrad

Wrap up

I cannot help myself but sneak some time off from the busy schedules this week just to check on my blog and some of my favorite blogs and to reply to some comments.  It was a busy week.

The first day of the week was Daryl’s birthday.  We celebrated it the day before so it was Sunday when we bought Han Pao Chicken and Yang Chow Fried Rice, and Dolor’s pancit palabok, puto and sapin-sapin.  I made sure that the foods that will be served are those he loves to eat.  Dinner was served with baked liempo with cream and mushroom coupled with vegetable soup.  He so loved the refrigerator cake after the main course.  He was overjoyed and cannot help but say, “You really prepared foods that I love!”  I think he had already forgotten a sad experience the other day prompting him to write this.

The days that followed were preparations for the surveillance audit.  When it rains, it pours.  There are so many concerns, all sorts, which crammed each day.  But everybody and I managed to be well out of something that has been bothering us for weeks.  There is only a minor deviation and some opportunities for improvement. Thank God!

Wednesday was Kay’s long-awaited day because that is the only day available for her to fulfill her dream of participating in the Longest Painting.  It is being held at SM North Edsa.  The painting she made below was done with water color in a 1-meter wide canvas.  There are no sponsors available now so one has to pay according to the size of the canvas.

It is such a nice feeling that somebody confides to you.  I feel great that there are people who trust me with their personal concerns and secrets. It gives me a grand regard of myself.

You can try Alba’s Home of Spanish Food and Cooking.  Paella Negra tastes good although I was really hesitant eating it at first.  Thanks to the coaxing of the bosses and I was persuaded to give it a try.  It doesn’t taste bad at all, especially with the sweets afterwards.

And now back to blogging…

Gifts with Price Tags

Would you want the receiver to get your gift still with price tag on it? If the answer is a yes, or a no, why?

Most often than not, we get invites to parties. Name it – birthdays, wedding ceremonies, baptism, get-togethers, etc. We also ended up uninvited tagged along (or forced) by the person who was the guest.

I believe that once invited, we should do our very best to attend the gathering. Except in cases of emergency, or indisposition. That way, we give that feeling of importance to the host(s). It’s not easy preparing for a gathering. A simple one eats up time, what more with a grand celebration?

Before totally deviating from the topic, I would want my gift without the price tag. I do that only when there is an exchange gift or a monito-monita activity during Christmas or New Year. That is to let the receiver know that I followed the rule of finding a gift with the agreed price, or with a price not lower than the agreed price.

Other than those events, I make sure that I had removed the price tag. I would not want to obligate the receiver to give me a gift equivalent to what I gave. Most gifts anyway with price tags still on it are pricey. Also, I would not want the receiver to feel that I am buying him/her. Not really a comfortable thought for me.

On a positive note, perhaps those who give gifts with price tags still on them want the receiver to know that they value the connection. Ouch, I sound unconvincing.

Pet Peeves

1. One day, in the bank, I heard a woman squealing when a bank representative finally approached her. It turned out to be that she wasn’t able to withdraw money from the bank’s ATM machine. The machine manufactured a receipt that indicates it’s a hot account. Her tantrum went almost like this:

“What this mean? It say hot. What hot-hot-hot, very hot? You know it’s the first time that happen to me. I come from Australia, I come in and out of the Philippines and this not happen to me. I am from Cavite

And her words trailed off while I was exiting the bank. I was mumbling to myself that the woman in her boots and ‘Australian’ get-up must have forgotten that she is already in Pinas. It could have been easier for her and for those who listen to her if she talked in the native language. She is not in Australia anymore.

2. While paying for my credit card bills, I told the cashier in the Bills section at SM to give the change to the other bill that lacks a few peso. She then later asked me, “Pero lahat na po ito? (All of this?),” handing the other bill that lacks a few peso. Of course I said yes. Then she punched the entire amount of the first bill leaving no change for the other bill. Wonder if I’d given the instruction wrong or she’s plain stupid.

3. At the food court, there is an area where animal (artificial) rides roam. One inserts tokens and then the rider can maneuver the ‘animal’ with its steering wheel. I walked in between two ‘animals’ calculating that the area is enough for me to trod. Suddenly one of the ‘animals’ turned left, the rider seemingly confused what is left or right, hitting me on a leg. Another ‘animal’ rider made it run straight to me, hitting me on my other leg, almost simultaneous with the one that hit me first. The simpletons couldn’t even utter their apologies. And they even have the nerve to register anger on their faces.

4. Before going home, we went to Watson to buy Care diapers for my mother-in-law. Seeing no Care diaper, Papsie decided to ask one of the sales clerk. He received, “May pila. (There is a queue.)” Papsie later told me this when I asked what that sales clerk said. I was indignant and said, “She could have answered you. That is all you need.” After a while, another sales clerk approached the counter. Papsie asked the same question which she gladly answered with a smile. Papsie told the first sales clerk, “O, di ba, tapos na? Yun lang naman ang kelangan ko.(It’s done, isn’t it? That’s all I need.)” The impertinent sales clerk played oblivious.

Conversations

The quality of your attention determines the quality of other people's thinking.

Nancy Kline

U.S. author.

This is so true.

Probably you and the other end are not on the same wavelength. Or the being was bored s/he wanted to sleep. Or there are other things in mind not parallel with each other. Or the whole exercise is boring.

Sometimes people around make it so obvious that what you talk about is uninteresting. Does that make you a boring person? Maybe yes, maybe no. It depends, actually.

Sometimes when people just agree, it makes you feel dull. A conversation does not have to be agreement all the time. But it is worse when you don’t get an answer at all. As the saying goes, “A good listener is not someone who has nothing to say.”

There was one person I remember who had boldly rebuked what I did and said. Of course, I defended myself, which is but natural to anybody being criticized. The conversation lasted smoothly and with me asking in the end, “Does that make me a bad person?” “Yes,” went the answer. I winced but bravely accepted the fact that I was at that time bad.

And there was this individual who thinks of self as Grade A, as in superlative, and you are left beholden to be a listener to the repetitive self-adulation. Uninteresting fool, and I was not entertained.

Is there ever an ideal conversation? I’d like to think that there is, even with the shortcomings of the other end. With wit and humor come the lasting thoughts of beautiful and unforgettable conversations.

Fallin' Out

My eyes always have that itchy feeling. Inspecting it with a mirror, I see one or two lashes which had fallen out and is/are pricking my eyeball/s causing the itch.

From Paula's Choice, there are reasons why lashes fall out:

1. lashes shed and grow


2. wiping off of make-up


3. rubbing of the eyes


4. overuse of mascara


5. allergy to mascara


6. consistent tugging using eye curlers


7. noncosmetic allergies from allergens


8. eye trauma


9. eyelid infection


10. eyelid cancer


11. hypothyroidism


12. pituitary insufficiency


13. a mite called D. folliculorum

Madarosis, as the falling out of lashes is called, sometimes causes panic to me. I don't know if there should be a limit to the number of lashes falling out in a day to say that it is still normal, and not chronic. What would be the equivalent if falling hair reaching up to a hundred a day is still normal?

Going over the list again, I dread thinking about numbers 8 to 13 reasons, especially number 10. Imagine how a single eyelash falling out and becoming frequent or persistent as caused by an eyelid cancer!

A Test of Morality and Ethics

This came from Charie, one of those wonderful friends I have, during the 2004 Presidential elections.

With all your honour and dignity ---what would you do? This test only has one question, but it's a very important one.

Please don't answer it without giving it some serious thought...for the test to work correctly.

LET US SAY.........

.... You're in Pampanga...

In Mabalacat, to be exact...

There is chaos going on around you, caused by heavy rains with all the flooding...

There is water all around you....

You are a small newspaper photographer....

...and you are in the middle of this great disaster.....

You're trying to shoot very impressive photos...

There are houses and people floating around you, disappearing into the water...

Nature is showing all its destructive power...

Suddenly you see a man, steering a big van...

He is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken away by a massive wall of water and mud...

You move closer...

Somehow the man looks familiar......

Suddenly you know who it is -- it's Fernando Poe,Jr.!

In that same instant you notice that the raging waters are about to take him away, forever...

You have two options.

You can save him - or you can take the best photo of your life. You can save the life of Da King, or you can shoot a prize-winning photo which could make you very popular...

A photo displaying what could be the last moments of a very popular actor who may even become the next President of the Philippines...

And here's the question: (Please give an honest answer, PLEASE!!)

Are you going to use black-and-white film, or colored?

Light satire that brightens my day everytime I read it. I will never grow tired reading this email, and will still laugh even if I'd read it many times! :-)

I am glad I am here for her.

I cannot afford seeing her sad, or crying. I know she is a budding lady that has to face the world and its cruelty, and deceit, and bias. I know that. But I still cannot bear the thought that she's hurting.

Heavens... time is running really fast. She was just my little princess. It was like yesterday. Now, she is a little lady becoming a target of life's pointed shafts.

I am glad I am here for her. Though I feel hurt, too, but am I glad I am her ear even for just a while.

This is kind of unfair but I know it's not really worth spilling her tears over someone who doesn't know his ass from his elbow.

Why I love them enough to say the truth even if it hurts

It is a common reaction that friends, relatives, and family remain silent even if there is something wrong in what others are saying, or doing. I have to take note of some of the reasons (from a book) why this happens*:

a.  lack of honesty

b. it is easier to remain silent (passive code of silence)

c.  no one loves enough to tell the truth

d. fear of conflict prevents us from saying anything

e.  to preserve a false sense of peace

f.  some people prefer to thrive on gossips

While I maybe frank, I learned that it is ‘not a license to say anything I want’. I feel I am guilty at times when my frankness is becoming an equivalent of rudeness. This is probably because the accompanying emotion is anger, irritation, or frustration.

With an intention filled with love, and with a loving tone, saying the truth, I learned, will not be that hurting at all. Perhaps this must be the ingredient for people around us to accept openly what we have to say even if it hurts. Like what I used to say before to Daryl when he was little, “Do you know why the food I cooked tastes great? It has a special ingredient called love.” If the food can have that ingredient, then saying the truth lovingly will also be good to the taste of those people we are trying to correct.

Wrong intentions smear the purpose of rectifying mistakes or resolving issues. I know somebody who always has to say things out of her intention to hurt but have no capacity to really resolve issues within the circle. She has this trait of deriding others to make it appear she is always the best. She easily finds fault but is at a loss when confronted, or denies anything that she had deliberately done.

Actually it is not an easy task to care enough to say anything about an issue with our loved ones or with those people we care about. But who would refute the fact that glossing over a problem or an issue will create more problems? Is the problem resolved when we just ‘smoothed the ruffled feathers’?

I love my kids and my husband enough to tell them the truth even if it hurts. Honesty keeps us closer, I believe. As I am always telling them, “I don’t love you if I don’t tell you what’s wrong. That is not the kind of love I give – to let you say and do what is wrong.”

*Rick Warren, Chapter 19, The Purpose Driven Life, p. 145

Round is a shape

This funny reflection was included in one of my co-employees email years back.

I'm in shape. Round is a shape.

At present, I have to be content with that quote. I have not done my routine exercises for months. And I know it's getting on to me. Yes, I'm in shape. I am rounder than before. *sour grin*

It's 12:10 am already. I am almost done with house chores. I noticed I have no day-offs. Poor me. Wilbert's help is even luckier than me. She could always have her day-off.

Wait, this one made me laugh. Yea, I am a multi-skilled slave: I can read an email while writing this post. Nice training, huh?

Pills for Obesity

"I'm prescribing these pills for you," said the doctor to the overweight patient, who tipped the scales at about three hundred pounds.

"I don't want you to swallow them. Just spill them on the floor twice a day, and pick them up, one at a time..."

Sounds plausible. But I tell you, I am round but I am not THAT overweight.

Can You Have Sex with Your Boss?

WARNING: Topic is for adults.

A septuagenarian boss showed me today a cut portion of a magazine with this question. In it were four individuals who gave their candid answers. I find one of the answers as very funny.

"Yes, if both people are consenting adults. If Monica can do it with the President, why can’t the rest of the American public?”

My answer is yes, and no, depending on the situation. I am not playing safe here. It really depends. Like if your boss was your lover, or boyfriend, or husband, before you joined his company, then yes, you can have it with him. Or if the company does not give a sanction to an employee who gets involved with another employee, then yes, you can have it with any of your co-employee.

No, if one individual’s moral, religious, or spiritual, and even cultural (is there such a thing as cultural conviction?) conviction prevents him/her from doing it. Or if your company does not allow lovers in the office, then you have to think first before plunging into the bed with your officemate (unless you keep it a secret maybe).

But honestly, I don't know of any enforceable rule that has to be observed in relation to this. Can somebody save me from disgrace?

I am just wondering what on earth does the septuagenarian thinks while he was showing that (the survey) to me, and while I was keeping my breath, and preventing myself from inhaling, lest I would faint because of halitosis.

Oh, and a male friend answered, "Yes, if she is a woman." Trying to be funny, heh-heh.

Jackie Chan vs. Starbucks

The news about Jackie Chan brought back memories. Drunken Master is one of those first movies Papsie and I watched together. Yes, one of the firsts :-P because there're only a few movies we viewed in our first year as sweethearts. I call them our first movies.

Back to the news, Jackie Chan would soon have Jackie Chan's Java Coffee in the Philippines and is anticipated to be a rival of Starbucks in the future.

I haven't tried Starbucks. It is not a necessity to me. Not because I am stingy but it's more of being practical. And even if Jackie Chan is a favorite, I don't think I would frequent the coffee shop. But wait, will he visit his coffee shop once in a while? I am having second thoughts here. :-)

What do you think Starbucks patronizers, is Jackie Chan's coffee shop a threat?

Here are some words to live by from Jackie Chan:

Coffee, like music and movies, knows no barriers.

Coffee is also a language in itself.

Here is Jackie Chan today:

What is Wrong with YM?

I have been using Yahoo Messenger for some time now to send instant messages and to chat with friends. Before, it was so easy for me to join a room. The service is a few buttons away. Now I can not join a room and I receive notice that somewhat read like ‘you were signed out because you signed in on a different computer’. Then I will be disconnected. Honestly, I do not know what that means. My attempts to join rooms lately are always unsuccessful. Not much of a bother to me though, but I am wondering what could be the problem. Is it with the new YM with voice chat features? Probably not, because I have been experiencing this months before I downloaded the new version.

It is my habit also to reread exchange of messages with my chat friends and I find it wonderful that YM has this message archive. However, I chatted with a friend last Sunday and thought of rereading the exchange of messages. The event was not recorded and that particular date was not recorded. What a waste, I thought. Then I checked if I had disabled the function. I did not. So frustrating. That was one funny and warm chat, and I regret that it got lost.

Because of this, I opted to change my password. Now, I am experiencing more frequent disconnections. What is wrong with YM ?!?

Good thing that I still have blogging (which I would prefer over chatting). That makes me a blog addict, isn’t it? :-)

 

My Take on Arrogance

Funny how some people perceive arrogance as that of boasting alone or that of talking a lot and loud. The Encarta Dictionary tool has this definition:

ar·ro·gance [érr?g?ns]

n contemptuous pride: a strong feeling of proud self-importance that is expressed by treating other people with contempt or disregard

Microsoft® Encarta® Reference Library 2004. © 1993-2003 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.

It is not the loud mouth alone. SOME uncommunicative individuals are arrogant people, too. One has to observe how their eyes roll, their mouths twist, their eyebrows raise, or their smiles curdle just merely listening to somebody’s stories. Could it be that something was slighted within? Could it be that the inability to counter what one hears is reason enough to withdraw? Or is it because one thinks s/he is greater than the storyteller? Could it be arrogance in itself when one doesn’t care to utter a single word to counter or correct a statement?

I have been telling my children always to speak out what they think. There is a social responsibility to consider. It is not arrogance but self-confidence to speak out what one thinks is right. It is not wrong to assert. While most young people choose to be silent in the middle of discussions, my kids were not trained that way, or were not accustomed to that manner. They were trained not to be afraid to speak (in which case, we, as parents, have to endure the consequences, too), or share what they think (but not to brag). And most of the time, they are careful with their words on the premise that they don’t think or wish ill against others.

How ridiculous to listen to quiet-sounding storytellers who tell about their brand new signature stuffs. How can a simple-living citizen relate to that? I think to disregard how other people feel is pure arrogance. Self-importance is so magnified. Or they just don’t have anything of importance to say.

Let’s give the benefit of the doubt. I may be wrong but I may be right: Some tight-lipped egotists are arrogant, too.

Arrogance functions on the oxygen of its own modesty. The self-confidence that is part of being young is sensibly flexible.

Jerome Weidman (1913 - 1998)

U.S. writer.

So, these are memes...

Pardon me but I am what you call ignorant sometimes. I have been seeing the word meme when I saw these question-and-answer activities propagating the bloglandia but I do not really know what a meme is. I tried one time to find the word in the dictionary but there is none. And because I was busy (and I am still 'til now,) I was not able to surf the net about it. Only now. Here is an exact definition. You can also find lots of memes in that site.

My apologies to Major Tom for not being able to attend to this ASAP. Busy, busy, no time to ‘stand and stare’! But thanks for tagging me twice, it is such an honor ;-).

THE FIRST MEME: Three's in My Life

3 things that scare me:

1. heights 2. possible harm for my loved ones

3. the pool, the sea, or any water form

3 people who can make me laugh:

1. Papsie 2. Pekto 3. any of the casts of That 70’s show

3 things I love:

1. my PC 2. the washing machine 3. the TV

3 things I hate (or just detest):

1. ‘tupperwares’ 2. waking up in the middle of the night 3. bad smell

3 things I don’t understand:

1. why I would suddenly be ignored

2. why bad things happen to good people

3. why success is evasive at times

3 things on my desk:

1. telephone 2. mirror 3. pen and paper

3 things I’m doing right now:

1. doing this meme

2. watching I Love New York

3. sipping coffee prepared by Papsie

3 things I wish to do before I die:

1. to get what I want for my beloved ones

2. write stories for a children’s book

3. to meet my friend bloggers

3 things I can do:

1. cook 2. write 3. laugh very loud

3 ways to describe my personality:

1. jolly 2. *naughty* 3. pensive at times

3 things people might not know about me:

1. eldest in a brood of four

2. I sometimes talk while sleeping

3. I don’t eat ube

3 things I can’t do:

1. swim 2. ride a bike 3. talk/ smile when I don’t feel like

3 things I think you should listen to:

1. Alicia Keys’ music 2. some Alanis Morisette’s music 3. MYMP's music or Moonstar88's music

3 things I don’t think you should listen to ever:

1. gossips 2. clashing metals 3. an in-law’s chattering voice

3 of my absolute favorite foods:

1. adobo 2. my pancit canton 3. kare-kare

3 things I’d like to learn:

1. play the guitar 2. drive a car

3. more writing styles

3 beverages I drink regularly:

1. Coffee 2. water 3. softdrinks

3 shows I watched when I was a child:

1. John n Marsha 2. Mighty Thor 3. Popeye

3 people I have tagged to do this meme:-

1. anybody 2. anybody 3. anybody

THE SECOND MEME - Six Weird Things About Me

1. I talk alone in the CR when stressed out


2. One can’t force me to utter a single word if I dont feel like talking or specially when I am mad.


3. I cant sleep at night without the TV on.


4. I find myself sometimes staring at people (yea, I know it’s rude).


5. I cant look in the eye anyone (in person) i admire.


6. I dont eat ube, even if it’s only a flavor.

I just wonder if these creatures are strange in some ways, too:

1. Melai  2. Jane  3. Mon-mon  4. Din-din  5. Rey  6. Elizabeth

(If you're tagged already, you dont have to do it anymore, of course! he he, jaz lemme know, k?)

Please, Be My Friend?

There was a time in my life when I almost begged for myself to be a friend to anybody though I did not literally beg for it. All because I seem to have no best friend, no one to really make me feel I am their friend.

I was more a shrinking violet than a live wire those days. I came to realize early in life that I lack many things compared to my classmates and friends (or maybe more as acquaintances). That could have triggered the introversion, because as far as I can remember, I will choose to be silent and think within, than blurt out my ideas about things because of self-doubt. I rarely speak phrases, only words, in faint voices. Too insecure, or unconfident, I struggled my way up to recognition silently, amidst the hatred of those popular ones who failed to defeat me in what they desired to be for themselves – excellent achiever in school.

I did not do it on purpose. That was my only vehicle to express myself, and to let everybody know that I exist. I felt nobody noticed me until I had put on myself achievements that did not change what I felt a bit. But it somehow introduced me to some who took interest. I made sense after all.

That stage passed. I was able to survive and I learned a lot. It was not necessary to beg for friendship after all. Friendship should be mutual. Both of the parties should feel that they are trusted, appreciated, supported and other requisites that characterize friendship. There should not be a feeling of alienation. There should be acceptance.

I had learned that one should not beg. If one has to put up with the weaknesses of another, that another should also have to put up with one’s weaknesses. If one takes interest befriending another, one must not expect too much that it would be reciprocated. But one should not also ask for morsels, or ‘sit up and ask for food’. It is not necessary. When one gets interested, one should not push around. Friendship is not obligatory.

While it is logically true that friendship takes time to develop, one of the first ingredients, I believe is both of you like and dislike generally the same things. Dissimilarity in tastes mostly puts a barrier between individuals especially when it comes to perspective. How will friendship prosper, for example, between a homebody and a socializer?

“Please, be my friend.” Maybe I would not ask anybody that. But I could be the sincerest friend one’ll ever have and a loyal one at his/her fingertips. To say the least.

To Be Remembered Like This

At Yitzhak Rabin's Funeral

Below is the eulogy of Noa Ben-Artzi Philosof, then the 18-year old grand daughter of Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin, the first native-born prime minister in Israel who was assassinated on November 4, 1995.

Excuse me, but I will not discuss peace today. I will talk about my grandfather.

The television has not stopped showing your image, and you seem so alive, and yet you're not. Grandpa, you were the pillar of fire before the camp, and now we're just a camp left alone in the dark, and we're so cold.

I know people are talking about a national tragedy. How can you pacify an entire army and an entire people when we feel such the void that was left? Very few people knew you truly. We can talk about you a lot more, but I feel that people don't know how great the pain is. At least the family and friends that were left at the camp without the pillar of fire know. Grandpa, you were our hero. I want you to know that everything that I did, I always saw you before me.

Your appreciation and your love escorted us through every way and road. You never, ever abandoned us, and here you are, my eternal hero, cold and alone, and there's nothing I can do to save you.

People greater than me have already eulogized you, but no one knows the caress that you placed on my shoulder and the warm hug that you saved only for us and your smile that always told me so much—the same smile that is no longer there.

No one knows the great pain that I'm feeling. The ground was taken from under our feet, and we're trying somehow to make something of this void and have not yet succeeded.

I don't want to separate from you, but now I must. I hope that you rest in peace and remember and miss us, because we down here love you. And I hope that the angels in heaven that escort you now that will protect you, I pray, and that they will protect you well, because you need that kind of care.

We love you always, Grandpa.

 

Source: 1996 Collier’s Year Book.

 

-----

Thanks to http://neebsuk.wordpress.com for this photo.

Suddenly I thought of how I wanted to be when I grow old:

 

- that bits of childhood will remain not because I am demented

- that I die before I totally degenerate

- that it would not feel so bad even if almost all of my hairs had fallen

- that I don’t loose all the people I love

- that Nature would provide the pleasures of Old Age

- that I would not be cruel to myself cussing about not being able to do anything anymore

- that I would still be inspired, kind, happy, decent

- that I would not be boring, whatever that means

- that I won’t grow old without money

- that I would still be able to remember the days of my youth

- that I would still be in touch

- that they would bear with me more

- that I would not be too absorbed of myself

- and that I would be leaving a legacy

I Almost Cried

The celebrated one never fades. He still has that magic spell.

I am one person who can be sometimes regarded as emotional. I can easily be affected by my emotions. I am very quick to cry over the so many ‘little things’ in this world. My tears well up unpredictably when Kay hugs me to say sorry. And even so when Daryl creates his masterpieces. My voice cracked in anger one time when a boss refused to listen to my grievance. And my tears didn’t stop flowing when hubby said that he can always understand me, that he will always try to understand me.

I almost cried. I was really overwhelmed. And even though I cannot express fully why this is so, I am thankful. Thankful maybe a bit short of the true description of how I feel but it is what will be enough for now.

But emotions can also lead us astray. They can play with our imaginations. They can create stories in our minds. They can magnify little bothers. They can make mountains out of small hills. They can even drag you down or leave you adrift in your own follies.

When we should let matters rest, it is important that we have to be in a sane emotional state.

Stress Relieving Quiz

A cousin who happens to be a friend also is so kind to send me this:

 

Don't tell me your age; you probably would tell a falsehood anyway-but the Nestle Man will know!

YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH

This is pretty neat.

DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN

FIRST!
It takes less than a minute . Work this out as you read . Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out! This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate(more than once but less than 10).


2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold).


3. Add 5.


4. Multiply it by 50 -- I'll wait while you get the calculator.


5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1756. If you haven't, add 1755.


6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number.

The first digit of this was the number of times you really want to eat Chocolate (i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week).

The next two numbers are

YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)

THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2006) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS.

Not all that glisters, gold

- Thomas Gray (1716 - 1771)
British poet.

A girl friend told me why she doesn’t go to the first-Friday-of-the-month mass anymore (held at the company). The whole assembly reeks with hypocrisy according to her. She said that she sins more going to that ceremony because anywhere she turns, there will be somebody she sees who will contribute to the ill thoughts. She cannot ward off the hostile feeling and the unease whenever she sees them. In the front, where the priest stands, stood the loan shark, who parades herself as a pious devotee. Next, in the front seat, line up the philanderers, the thieves, the swindlers and the adulterers, that masquerade as meek lambs. Beside her, are the co-workers who assume that they are the most sophisticated ladies in the company and snob anybody they dislike even for no reason at all. From not far away, are the two lovers, both married, glancing surreptitiously at each other. And from the other end, is the ‘homo’ who was caught inside a theater grabbing genitals. And many more.

She still hears mass but in a church where she knows nobody. This is probably the reason, too, why her husband doesn’t go to their church anymore. One day, she told me, she was able to persuade him to accompany her to the mass because it is their anniversary. Off they went to the mass, and after a few minutes came their elderly neighbor. Her husband wasn’t able to contain his thoughts and whispered, “Tingnan mo yan, halos araw-araw narito ‘yan sa simbahan at nagrorosaryo. Kulang na nga lang dito na tumira. Kumpleto pa sa get-up, ha, me medalyon pa. Pero sino ba ang naghalo ng ipa sa mga butil ng bigas, at saka pinakain sa mga trabahador niya?” (Look at her, almost everyday she visits the church to pray the rosary. It’s like she wanted to take her abode in the church. She even has a complete get-up with a medallion. But who mixed the hulls to the grain, and have them eaten by the workers?)

Really, such hypocrisy. I cannot blame her and her husband to feel that way because I also feel that way when I see parishioners who continue aggravating other people. Of course, their business is not our business but they are stumbling blocks. Then I said, "I don't go to the church for these people." To this she replied that she cannot prevent her bad thoughts from coming and it would be best not to go to that mass anymore.

I don’t want to sound like I am perfect. Neither does my friend want to sound like one, too. It's just that she desires peace when going to the church and she couldn't have it because she sees them. Maybe these people, she added, do not know what they are doing, or maybe they know that what they're doing is right as long as they are kept hidden. And my friend couldn't stand it.

---------

It's easy to love God. It's easy to love Jesus. It's easy to pray for the heathen African ten thousand miles from the house where you live. It's hard to call a lousy tramp your brother and set him down at your table.

Melvin Tolson (1900 - 1966)

U.S. poet and teacher.

 

How They Have Grown

When I first held Kay, she was so tiny, she was just the length of my lap, and I was like holding her both with my hands and arms. She was like an angel.

And when Daryl came, he weighs like a one-month old baby already. But also a little angel. He sucks just putting a finger on his chin.

Now, look how they have grown! They're bigger, and becoming more witty and amusing as the days go by...



with the cats...







The joys of parents are secret, and so are their griefs and fears. - Francis Bacon

When There’re Only Two Choices

1. 
   

   My son approached his teacher the other day to tell her that a page of his book had answers already (The school allows students to use second-hand books). He did this to actually ask her what to do. Then unexpectedly his teacher ripped the page from the book and told him to do the same to all the pages with answers. I was outraged to learn of this and told him that his teacher should have told him instead to reproduce copies from a brand new book and have them pasted on the pages. “Do you want me to talk to your teacher?” I asked him, to which I received the usual reply that “I’ll handle this myself.” I learned afterwards that this teacher is one of the best teachers, and that she has that ability to make her students learn. Now, if you will be asked to choose, would you have a) a skillful teacher that lacks EQ, or b) a mediocre teacher who has that capability to connect with her/his students?

   
   


2. 
   

   We find ourselves entrapped sometimes with these teevee programs that show mouth-watering recipes. Just simply looking at the decorative and appetizing food makes the stomach grumble, isn’t it? They say that food should be attractive. It should first serve the eye before the gut. Would you prefer food a) for its glorious appearance, or b) for its taste even without the glamour?

   
   


3. 
   

   Kay bought a best-seller book about Helen Keller, the deaf and blind woman who had triumphantly managed to acquire learning despite her condition. Daryl tossed a mind-boggling question, which I would like to share. If God asks you to give him back one of the two most important senses, would you rather give your a) eyesight, or your b) hearing sense? And why?

   
   

Mr. Finicky, et cetera

Mr. Finicky?

A friend went to my room in the office just the other day to talk about an officemate who owes him P500.00 pesos still but volunteered to sponsor a drinking spree. The guy had just gotten his SSS salary loan. Intolerable, isn’t it? And he still owes money from the cooperative using me as guarantor. The conversation continued how some co-workers just so love to drink but does not have ready cash to spend. What caught my attention is how he was repeatedly victimized by these people. He also mentioned that they find it strange why he cannot drink from the sole glass being passed round and requests for another glass for himself, and a spoon, too, for himself (for the pulutan). He is Mr. Finicky, for them. My friend told me he is just being careful. What if he gets AIDS, he humorously told me.

Sorority Rituals

Which brings to mind a tale by a friend about a ritual in a sorority she joined. One of the rituals consist of sharing a piece of candy by the group members. Eeeew! I thought. That is so horrible. And I cannot understand that the ritual intends to strengthen the ties? Hmmmm. Shallow for me. It makes me feel sick.

Green Around the Gills

And speaking of being sick, it’s been days, and I still feel queasy. Must be the weather. Must be the flu sweeping the company. I am not me today. Hope I’ll feel better tomorrow.

Updates

My Daryl made an update.  My Mind as It is has been asleep for a time.  It is now updated with a poem for its rebirth.

Pinoy Teachers Network will be celebrating its first year anniversary on July 12.  I dedicated an article leaving a question for the Filipino teachers of the group - Did we dream too fast?

Now that I take joy in my daughter's growing interest about her school, I am quite alarmed about this news, which Kay had told me a few days ago.  Not until after I read the whole account have I felt the gravity of the incident.

Time is selfish.  Nowadays, my blogging time is becoming lean.  Without a help in the house, the chores are eating my time.  To blog or not to blog, that is the question.

That Sad Look in Her Eyes

It’s been almost two weeks since my mother in-law was hospitalized. Nanay underwent blood transfusion. Her hemoglobin content dropped off so she was given blood transfusion. She needed four bags to conquer that life-threatening situation. With God’s mercy, she was able to recover in a week’s time. Little by little, her color returned.

Though she can already move slowly, she still wheezes going to the comfort room. Little movements make her pant, even when coming out of the bed. Aside from these observations, she easily forgets. She looses focus and cannot enjoy simple conversations. She had lost her sense of humor, too, and mostly appears gloomy. She seems to get irritable with small matters, and seldom smiles. She demands attention and wishes for the presence of particular persons which seemed to have forgotten to pay her a visit.

Senility is tagging along. It is really heart-breaking to see a once-active woman being slowly eaten away with aging. It is frightening, too, that we will all pass across this stage (except maybe for those whose contract will be terminated earlier). It is a sad thought to feel you are left isolated when once you toiled for others, or helped a lot in small and big ways. Where have they all gone?

I try most of the time to bring her into conversations. I know and feel that she wanted the others to be there and be the ones in my place. I should feel touchy but I could not help feeling anything but pity. I feel she wants them to visit and talk to her endlessly. It really makes her very sad to wait for the others that she wishes to come and visit.

Thanks to her favorite grand daughter who volunteered to sleep with her in her room. She hadn’t failed her Lola who did not fail her also when she was still studying and in dire need of money and support for her schooling. I know her presence is doing a lot to conceal the loneliness.

A Purse is But a Rag Unless You Have Something in It*

How true.  Fancy a purse without money in it.  That would make one feel miserable. 

The frequently heard, “Don’t say you don’t have money because a coin is money still.”  Along with this, some would say that repeating the phrase will really make your life miserable and without money.  Baseless as it is, I view the saying as words of inspiration – not to consider lack as hindrance to pursue a dream, or as reason to surrender.

The mind is like a rag, too, without knowledge and wisdom.   When devoid of learning and required information, the mind is useless.  Therefore, the owner feels tattered, too, and unconfident.  Wonder how true the claim of a friend that his brain is more expensive than other brains because it is not overused.  Not true, of course, because that was spoken in jest.

My purse is not brimming with money.  It is light even with money in it.  That saddens me once in a while, but it doesn’t keep me from going on to seek ways to make it a little heavy, and not overflowing.  Just enough money in it makes me feel I am not void of sense.  That somehow I make something out of my existence – to provide, and be of help if necessary.

My mind is not of a genius either.  It craves for knowledge, and it still is up to this time.  But when crammed with concerns, regrets, and sad and angry thoughts, it is better to be without its fill.

 

* H. Melville, Moby-Dick, page 13.

When Left With Not a Choice

It will always be better for couples to live apart from in-laws, or relatives. It will always be better not to have their home among or with them. To live as husband and wife without meddlers and influences is like living without restrictions from unwanted people. It is like living spontaneously and peacefully.

Of course, everybody needs somebody. On occasion. But couples do not necessarily need to live with in-laws and relatives to make a successful marriage.

In abnormal situations though, couples have to live with the disadvantages of living among or with them. The task is never ever easy.

Some in-laws eye a wife’s or a husband’s every move. They fault-find and she or he is a prey, often nitpicked because she or he is a stranger in the house or among the group. Often an object of ridicule, the poor wife or husband, tries to win in-laws’ approval or acceptance to no avail. The stranger is left with disappointments that often lead to anger.

There are in-laws, too, who compete for the attention and approval of elders. They work out scheming ways so that their siblings’ wives or husbands, together with their siblings, will be despised by the elders or the parents. Incomprehensible tactics perhaps for others but there are reasons, and one of them is the prized heirloom of the family, or the big favors that can be obtained in the future.

You will be surprised that there are in-laws who will not allow anybody, especially the wives or husbands of their children, or siblings, to outdo, or to overtake them, with the favors awarded (even as simple as food rations), or with the carrying out of responsibilities. They calculate, and they should not be left behind, or overridden. They do not care if others are left behind, or overridden but not them, or else it will be like waging war to them.

A lot of in-laws are cold and unsympathetic, too, because of envy, insecurities, and frustrations. They see something in a son’s wife or a daughter’s husband or a sibling’s wife or husband that is lacking from them. Their incapacity to obtain a valuable possession, for example, leads them to envy and hatred. This therefore results to unwarranted criticisms and character assassinations. Poisonous mouths can kill and so they persist with their relentless attacks.

If you want to know deeper why they are envious and insecure beings, try to background-check. You will discover the many reasons: from their own lives’ frustrations to the many personality deficiencies, from want of attention to avarice of getting everybody’s attention or the prominent figure’s attention, and from simply wanting to compete to dangerously wanting to get rid of anybody in the way.

I know for a fact that not all in-laws are insufferable, cold, and vile. There are always exemptions. And to those who are blessed to live with adorable in-laws, hold them dear to your heart.

He Says the Darnest Things

You always hear him cuss. 5 per centavo.

To Daryl he will ask the question out of the blue: Lumaki na ba, anak? (Has it grown bigger, son?)

To the gays that march the narrow path in front of the house: Ang gaganda naman ng mga miss na ito! he he (These girls are beautiful!) he he

To me: May agiw ka yata sa ilong. (You have cobwebs in the nose.) That is pertaining to the filth in my nose.

To the other motorists who he thinks are failures, or does not know or follow the road rules:

- Asuwang! (Evil creature!)

- Bobo! (Simpleton!)

- Di ka pa sikat, laos ka na! (You're not popular yet but you have lost it already!)

- And a lot more.

Of course, the other motorists do not gather this because we are in the car, and they have no idea what he's mumbling about.

Peace, Papsie!

To others he's a simple man,

And fame he's never had,

But he's the greatest man we know,

He also is our dearest Papsie.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, PAPSIE! - with all our love..

And to all fathers in the world: HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! 

 

Dead Beat

The small shanty, voiceless and maybe deaf, is the only witness to her tears. How long had she been crying silently? An hour? Thirty minutes? She doesn’t know. She will not know. Her mind had soared to the days where there is superfluity of good things.

A timid knock is heard from the door. It was Amelia, her eldest daughter, the once reigning little princess in her elementary grades, now a young grown-up, who had chosen to marry at a young age than pursue schooling in college. Beaten by the situation, Amelia chose to marry to escape the grueling situation only to find out that it is not far better than before.

Amelia barely nodded to greet, and forced a wry smile towards Roquesa, her mother, who sits across the room, two legs bent while arms around them seemed to have imprisoned the two legs. Roquesa rocks to and fro in a slow motion.

“I have only five pesos to buy you kerosene for your stove. That’s all I can give. Luis did not make it last night. Very few customers,” Amelia walked towards a makeshift table by the corner, and proceeded, “Perhaps Nilo will drop by to bring you rice to cook. Here is a can of sardines. This will do, and don’t expect me to buy egg to make omelet. That is also four pesos, I could save it for the baby’s milk.”

After Amelia left, Roquesa stared at the can of sardines. How could she have her fill of food? She feels too weak to get up and get the knife to open the can. If only Nilo would be a little earlier, the sharp pain of hunger will not insist. But she has to move to get the knife.

Feebly, she inched her way to the table and roamed her eyes to where the knife is. It was among the spoons and forks on a plate. It seems shinier than anything on the plate. It was trying to get her attention, and it seems she hears the glistening knife talk, “Now, silly, come on and move your feet. Come and get me. USE ME!”

“Flashes of light. Why are there flashes of light? That is little Amelia! Look how she walks with her new clothes!”

“My darling, don’t leave me! Please, tell that woman I need you, we need you! I will do everything! I will not cross you! I will do whatever you say!”

“Nilo, my little baby…”

Nilo pushed open the ratty door. Horrified by the figure lying on the floor, drenched with blood, knife still stuck on the stomach, he run to his mother who at the moment was panting for breath. “Why did you do this? I told you I will come, Mother.”

“Nilo, my little baby…” Roquesa smiled (at last) lovingly at Nilo. The panting stopped.