Remembering the April 2s for 17 years

I was told that the theme song for newly weds is Luwalhati sa Diyos (Glory to God). For those married for a few years will be Panginoon, Maawa Ka (Lord, Have Mercy) and for those married for decades, the theme song is Kunin Mo, O Diyos (Take, O Lord). It's a joke from our parish priest after learning that we had been husband-and-wife for seventeen (17) years. He approached me and asked how’s the marriage and I kidded like, “Heto, napagtiyagaan ang bawat isa (Been patient with each other).” He told me he does not believe me that I am just being patient because I can still smile, and laugh. How true.

To be married with the one you love is not utopia that became real. I am happily married, yes, but it is not all glory, or bliss, or happiness. But the good outweighs the bad, in all fairness.

When the marriage was still young, I remember there are a lot of fights. I discovered that what the elders and some friends and acquaintances told me were true. One should stay under a roof with someone to really get to know who the person is. I learned that I married a man who was brought up differently, and who takes life lightheartedly (even in his condition). That was so different from how I treated life – so serious (because I was the first born?).

We had fights that lasted until the following day. He would choose to sleep than to hear my flare ups. I would wake him up and cry my eyes out. He would calm me down with his hugs and his kisses. Then after some time, we agreed that we will not sleep without patching up first our differences. That is what I learned from the Bible (I was really doing research about marriage that time from all forms of media!).

I was so naïve, those times, to think that he would stay always by my side, or be there always with me, literally. I felt so alone that he had to leave me with his mother inside the house to be with his friends. I shut reason that he has to remain friends with them, and that one has to socialize. I reminisce those childish ways with a smile. It took years for me to understand that he needed his friends, and I needed mine, too.

I was the jealous type. I didn’t like his being friendly with women, especially those who flirt. But I never admitted that I was jealous. I didn’t like discussing things about how he admired women in front of me. It took years to learn that I had to let my husband know what and how I feel. I was able to tell him that he should respect me not to ogle at women when I am around or in front of me. That is such an insult. He would also not like me staring at gorgeous men in front of him. Even without admitting it, I told him I know he admires beautiful women (and I would prefer that than him admiring gorgeous men). He admitted but it doesn’t mean he desired them. “Believe it or not,” he told me, “when I see beautiful women, I remember you.” That was hard for me to believe at first. But don’t get me wrong, my husband is not a womanizer. He is a gentleman and treats every woman with respect, and is very approachable. Maybe that is why women appreciate how he delivers his jokes and tales.

Truth to tell, our story is no different from any other story of husbands and wives. I believe that what makes each marriage unique is how each couple treats each other and how they value the bond.

 

I would want to end this story telling about the early part of my marriage. The next part will follow maybe next year.