Nurturing an Illicit Affair

She is having an affair with a married man. That is how it sounded to me. Though no details were given (just reading between the lines), I can sense she is into it already. She said she is happy with the way things are, content of what is there, not asking for more. She told me she does not have the guts yet to tell me what she wanted to tell me. In time, she said, perhaps I will not be spared of the details. She seemed very happy, or content with the situation now that dying is all right.

I told her I do not need the details. It is okay if she would not disclose those things I do not need to hear. I don’t know why I told her that. Perhaps I am a little bit scared of what I would hear, or of the effect on me, or of what I would think of her as. Frankly, I love her as a friend. I don’t want to blemish the relationship I have with her because of her personal affairs. Those are not the only things I should regard about her. She is a unique individual capable of bringing smiles on people’s faces. She is a listener, too, and an intelligent one, sharing her bits of wisdom to circumstances.

Not knowing really what the situation is, out of true concern, I told her that she should remember that whatever we do, we must not step on anybody’s shoes, or deliberately hurt other people. I also told her that all things that we do, good or bad, have their own consequences, explaining that we usually wonder why this or that thing is happening not realizing that they are the consequences of what we have previously done. In addition, I continued telling her that repercussions always come late, or during the times we expect them the least.

She listened ardently when I mentioned that when we love, we should not give ourselves entirely, we should save a certain percent for ourselves. Women are vulnerable especially when a man does everything to show his love. Women are not very particular with the physical appearance but on how a man shows his love. Therefore, we should leave something for ourselves always so that if things did not work out right, we still have a spare for ourselves and will be able to get to our feet again.

I did not insist on, or rather, I don’t have plans knowing what the real score is. I already know. I am somewhat happy that this friend trusts me but I am also worried. What she is doing is not justifiable but I still respect her. I believe that we are all liable to our own “illicit affairs”, be it with our job, with our living standards, or with anything we do that is unlawful or forbidden. That is why we are not to judge. But I pray that those accounts that I have shared with her will give her hints in her daily brawl with life and with the situation.

When the time comes that she is ready to tell me, I will listen, and will definitely rebuke her. But there will always be space for reason and understanding.