Tales About the 'Drunken Masters'

Drunken Master 1

The Happy Drinker. When he gets drunk, he gets so noisy, shouting his lungs out. Overexcited, he makes fun of everything and everyone. He is the star of the show, shouting his mouth off. He is wacky but fun to be with. Dances sometimes, dirty dancing to boot, or sings out of tune.

Drunken Master 2

The Silent One. Smiles. Gulps. Smiles. Gulp. Few words. He drinks not making a sound. Laughs at a joke but seldom remarks. He just lets the alcoholic beverage seep in. He enjoys the sound, the music, and the chatter around him, and appears sober. You cannot tell if he’s intoxicated already.

Drunken Master 3

The Drama King. He blurts out his grudges, and his long hidden resentments to a particular person, sometimes to someone who is among his drinking buddies. When drunk, he is usually loud. He has a foul mouth – the type who gets easily irritated when somebody does not agree with what he says then takes it personally.

Drunken Master 4

The Intellectual. He is the type who wants to discuss politics, and other cracking ideas. He is also a silent drinker. Too serious about everything, he calculates every word his drinking buddies utter.

Drunken Master 5

The Windbag. When alcohol sets in his system, he will start telling stories about his exemplary deeds. Only God knows if they are true. Nothing is above his achievements. No one is better. He usually monopolizes the exchange of boasts.

Drunken Master 6

The Gladiator. After several gulps or when intoxicated, he starts to look for a brawl. He would start throwing off vindictive words against one or two drinking buddies. Most of the time, this fight starts only from petty disagreements.

Drunken Master 7

The Sleep Rough Drunk. All he does, when tanked up, is sleep – on the bench, in a corner, or while sitting head down and drooling. You can also see him at one corner of the street, or in a vacant lot, or inside a tricycle, or on a board a passenger jeep parked on a street.

Drunken Master 8

The Confused. Alcohol takes over his sanity. He is not aware of what he is doing. He pisses on the sink, or even opens a closet and pisses there with gusto. Or you might find him sitting on one of the corners of the bedroom to defecate. Or you might find him dishing out all his money to his drinking buddies, or order food and drinks with sky as the limit.

Drunken Master 9

The Exhibitionist. A psycho who gets drunk, he unzips the zipper to show what he got. Talks nasty, too.

Drunken Master 10

The ‘Romeo’. When alcohol slowly starts to enter his consciousness, he desires the company of women. He is the type who would persuade his drinking buddies to leave a party and continue the drinking bout in a beerhouse, or a beer garden. He woos beerhouse girls, or the GROs, and convinces the girl to complete the night with him.

-------

I remember when I first tasted Fundador, it was like an admiration to the taste. "Swabe," as they say. Because I enjoyed the taste, I got drunk and decided to go to bed. When I was in the room, I stumbled to the bed. While on the bed, I rolled laughing each time I roll. I know what was happening (and can still remember it vividly). Only that, I cannot control myself from laughing. I thought I would never stop. It was like a button was switched on to make me laugh and would not stop when not switched off. Then it stopped. I don’t remember how long that laughing hysteria lasted out but it stopped. And I went downstairs to the kitchen sink and vomited a lot. I was unclogging the drain with my finger, and was not aware that my son was there, watching me.

I was very embarrassed when he narrated all that he had witnessed. I cannot recall some of the things he told me that I did. I never got THAT drunk from then on.