Effeminacy, a Sign?

At times I am bothered with the indifference and harsh words effeminate boys or men receive from some others. In the Filipino culture, where the third sex is still not fully accepted, signs of effeminacy always send panic to the parents.

But is effeminacy enough to tell that a boy is homosexual or would become a homosexual? I don’t believe so. Effeminacy, seen with its feminine behavior characteristics, does not define entirely the possibility of homosexuality. I believe that there are many factors why boys or men are effeminate. The early stages in life imprint some things that children cannot forget.

I do not have anything against homosexuals, not on the personal level. And this is not about homosexuality. This is the unfair treatment some boys or men experience because they are more refined, or they do not have vigorous characteristics, or they have delicate looks, or their dress does not indicate manhood, or they may even be extravagantly fashionable.

I am saddened because it is being judgmental to think that something is wrong with a boy or a man only because he has this feminine touch. And sometimes they become object of ridicules because their actuations or words or manners conceal what they truly are.

Well, no doubt that some signs of effeminacy being manifested also tells that the boy could become a homosexual. But it is more of help if we do not condemn. It requires understanding, exploration, and acceptance of the individual. It would be better to tell a boy or a man what you think about how he expresses, for example, which is more feminine than masculine. His reactions will tell more the inclination and frequent conversations will help remedy an identity crisis instead of aggravating the situation.

As to why some are effeminate, there are factors, as I have observed. The environment where a boy or a man grew up to be with must have comprised with mostly women. And up to the time where his motor skills and speech had developed, the women were those who had been his company. Another possible reason is the boy or man grew up to be so refined being well-heeled. Or maybe the boy or the man simply is experiencing a crisis.

I fully know that despite counseling and therapies, homosexuality in some prevails though this fact should not also be condemned.